18 Mar

Stimulating Your Vagus Nerve with Deep Breathing

Why would we want to stimulate the Vagus Nerve anyway?

Stimulating the vagus nerve is important as it reduces stress, anxiety, anger and inflammation by activating the relaxation response of our parasympathetic nervous system. Deep slow breathing stimulates the nerve, lowers stress responses associated with the “fight or flight” mechanisms in the body. This deep breathing also improves heart rate variability (HRV) which is the measurement of variations within beat-to-beat intervals of the heart.

I started thinking again about the vagus nerve and deep breathing for two reasons. The first one was because my Pilates teacher reminded me about it and how we should think about the vagus nerve while we were doing our Pilates exercises. Just taking my mind’s attention towards the nerve and off the fact I was doing these difficult slow and controlled sit up exercises was huge in helping me do the exercises more calmly, to breathe more rhythmically and consequently all my exercises became better and more controlled. It made doing the exercises easier and I felt stronger.

The second reason was seeing clients with intense anxiety. Often it is hard for them to take deep breaths. This is where EFT can be so effective to help the mind/body to relax enough to take those deep breaths. Try an experiment and tap for a few rounds while checking on the depth of your breath, as you keep tapping and checking on the capacity of your lungs to take in air in a relaxed way, you will find you can take deeper and deeper breaths. To learn more about what Gary Craig calls the Constricted Breathing Technique, you can click on this link to the page on his website:


The vagus nerve runs from the brain stem and travels all the way down into the belly, spreading fibers to the tongue, pharynx, vocal chords, lungs, heart, stomach, intestines. It also connects to glands that produce anti-stress enzymes and hormones like Acetylcholine, Prolactin, Vasopressin, Oxytocin. These hormones influence digestion, metabolism, and naturally, the relaxation response. The vagus nerve is the most important element of the parasympathetic nervous system. It’s the one that calms you down by reducing your heart rate, blood pressure and controlling your relaxation response.

Start by taking a deep inhalation into your belly, expanding your diaphragm, while counting to five. Then very slowly exhale while puckering your lips. To get into a vagus-nerve stimulation mode, try reducing the number of breaths from the usual 10-14 per minute to 5-7 per minute. Don’t forget to tap first if it’s too difficult to take those breaths so that you can be relaxed enough. Studies have shown that practicing 10 minutes a day of tapping and deep breathing is enough for you to notice you’re relaxing yourself. The key is diligence! Without forcing it, gradually work on reducing the number of breaths per minute. The whole point is feeling relaxed.


Sources: Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-athletes-way/201705/diaphragmatic-breathing-exercises-and-your-vagus-nerve

Liz Newman: http://liznewmanacupuncture.com/2015/09/

05 Mar

Joy – What part does it play in our lives?

Photo Credit: Tom Scott

I did an experiment recently where I took all the issues that my clients had in the last 2 years and I did a graph. One of the highest rated issues that showed up was that they wanted to experience more joy in their lives.

I believe that we all are meant to be experiencing joy and that is something that God wants for us too! God imparts certain longings and passions in our heart for a reason. They align us with our purpose and our destiny. God is in our joy!

He is speaking to us all the time but we have to go inside to hear him, to dim the noise of the outside world. He is that small still voice which we have to develop by spending time with him. Sometimes God speaks to us in dreams, in our waking experiences, or in a prompting to call someone, or in a person we meet. You can’t imagine the goings on in the spiritual realm! He is working in our lives all the time and more especially when we choose to look to him, so keep your eyes and ears attuned to all the messages He’s sending your way. He wants you to be in joy, He wants you to be living with a divinely inspired freedom. He wants to co-create life, your joyful life, with you!

Here’s the dictionary meaning of joy: a feeling of great pleasure and happiness.”tears of joy” – delight, great pleasure, joyfulness, jubilation, triumph, exultation, rejoicing, happiness, gladness, glee, exhilaration, exuberance, elation, euphoria, bliss, ecstasy, rapture.

Here’s the antonym: misery

I think we would all like to be feeling joy rather than misery. Unfortunately many are living a life frustrated that they  can’t feel joy. We all deserve to be happy, though many have never known how that feels. If you have never felt joy or any of those feelings that are synonymous with joy, it may mean that you need more healing to take place before you can even access the positive aspects of who you are. There may be are parts of you crying out to be seen, heard, witnessed and acknowledged for the pain you went through. For some, the childhood years were so wrought with fear and the disappointment that it was never ‘safe’ to let go and feel joy. Letting your guard down and going to that place opened you up to being either emotionally or physically wounded. You may have taken on mom’s anxiety and fear even in the womb or you may have negative beliefs that were passed on through the generations. I get it, I really do, I experienced it, however there was always something in me that kept me striving for the truth and the hope to experience life with more joy, in spite of the trauma of the past. That desire and need lead to years of healing and research into what worked and what didn’t to break free and to experience joy.

Are we always going to be feeling joy? Umm…. NO!!! There are times in life when we are experiencing challenges, when we are in a growth process, when we are in a plateau and nothing seems to work. We lose our jobs, money isn’t coming in, we are looking after sick relatives, we are in pain, someone we love dies or leaves. We’ve had disappointment after disappointment. The list seems sometimes endless and we wonder sometimes where is God in all of this?  Even though life has its difficulties and challenges, it is still possible to have joy. And i don’t mean that kick up your heels and sing in the rain type of joy, although that is wonderful, YES! I mean that this joy can also be like you have an inner peace, an inner knowing that even though you are going through difficult times, that they will pass, things will get better, you are not alone, God is with you, loving you through it all.

When I go through difficult times, it is so easy to plummet into negative thinking and an important thing I always do to bring me back to feeling positive, is find things I am grateful for and I write them down.  It may be as simple as a pillow to put my head on and a blanket to keep me warm, a puppy I get to pat on the street, a smile from someone. The other day I saw a Forsythia tree in bloom and the first crocuses of Spring had opened. Every year I get the greatest joy to see these first flowers, every year we get to witness this miracle of life that I will never get tired of.

Here’s a few questions to journal about and get you started on your journey of experiencing more joy. Take some time for yourself, maybe block out at least a half an hour or so. Put on some calming music and tune your mind into your heart’s space.

!. Find out and get to know what brings you joy.

Think of a time when you felt some of the above feelings of joy, make a list (if you can’t think of anything, then I want you to simply imagine how it would feel if you were in a joyful experience.

What were you doing?

Who were you with?

What about it brought joy?

Who were you when you were doing these things?

How did these feelings feel in your body? Where were they in your body? Describe them (such as warm, exciting, tingly, peaceful, in the zone, confident, thrilling. The color blue, yellow etc….

If you could give a metaphor description of who you were at this time, what would it be? (examples could be perhaps an animal, color, a specific character or person etc…)

How would you feel if you could do more of this?

How could those feelings inspire you in your life now?

2: Trust that doing what brings you joy is what you are meant to be doing.

How do you share it with others safely?

How could you be doing more of this in your work, free time, family time?

Make a vision board where you can either draw, paint, cut out pictures and paste them of all those things that bring you joy.

Put it up on the wall and look at it everyday. Let it inspire you into creating more.

Be aware of the feelings doing this evokes in you, either negative or positive.

If all you feel is anxiety or negative feelings do EFT-Tapping to tap those negative feelings down. If they are overwhelming, it may be good to see a practitioner who can help you to discover what may be blocking you and to heal it.

Journal about it and ask God how those feelings can be used for further discovery, either about you or about others.

3: If you don’t know what brings you joy, you can find it.

In the sermon on the mount Jesus tells us to, “Ask and it shall be given you, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you” (Matt 7:7). So do all of those things (ask, seek and knock) and never ever give up until you find what brings you joy. Keep trying new things and drop them if you don’t enjoy them and keep them and expand them if they do bring you joy.

Recently I took a Zumba class at my gym. This class is  by no stretch of the imagination boring. It is great fun, there is fabulous music, I get to move my body in ways that remind me of my former dancer glory. When I danced I felt joy in moving my body, pushing it to its limits, being inspired by the music and in being able to share my gift with others. The teacher,  by sharing his joy and choreography, inspires me and all the others in class. The class makes me come alive and has given me a boost of confidence to experience this aspect of myself again. This same joy is expressed in a different way when I work with my clients and I see them break free of limiting beliefs.

It has always been so important to me my whole life to do what I loved and what brought me joy, I believe it is connected to our purpose and destiny. So this is me exhorting you to find your joy, what floats your boat, what gets you pumped, what lights your fire. We need more passionate, on fire with life and joyful people in this world. When we are living our joy we are too happy to oppress others, or to be depressed right? This is why it is so important for everyone to be in this joyful place with God. When we are experiencing joy, it is catching and we automatically make the world a better place.

If you are interested in discovering more of your joy, and living the life you dreamed and to let go of anything that may be keeping you trapped, send me an email. I give 20 minute complimentary strategy sessions. You deserve to be free and you deserve to experience joy!

With love,


06 Nov

EFT Mistakes

EFT is an invaluable technique to calm the freeze, flight, freeze response in the body.  If you are tapping on your own at home, you may want to read this list of common mistakes so you can get more out of your practice. It was created by Valerie Lis, MA, aka “The Tapping Teacher.” I want you to get exceptional results every time you tap. A few “mistakes” may be slowing you down. The purpose of this article is to help you understand these common errors. Correcting them will lead to breakthroughs in your self-work.

MISTAKE #1: EFT works on your memories and thoughts.
EFT does not work on your memories and thoughts. It works on the physical response associated with your memories and thoughts. If you have a fear of spiders, for example, there is a fight-or-flight (stress) response. Your heart rate increases, breathing accelerates, pupils dilate, and digestion stops. These symptoms occur when you think about a spider or get close to one. With tapping, there is a sudden shift from fight or flight to deep relaxation. As a result, your body’s automated response to spiders (conditioned link) is broken and the fear is permanently released. The memory, itself, remains the same. To resolve this mistake, ask before tapping: “Where do you feel this in your body?” This assures an accurate starting point to measure your progress. If you have a strong physical response, it usually means you are ready to tap. It also makes it easier to measure shifts as they occur.

MISTAKE #2: Emotional distress is to be avoided.
When working with EFT, emotional distress is beneficial. This is one of the hidden “secrets” in the world of tapping. When clients cry with me, I am honored and joyful. Tapping through tears produces a powerful release. It is exhilarating to connect and share this experience with my clients. On a scale from 1 to 10, 5-10 is the “sweet spot.” If your emotional distress is too high (i.e., higher than 10, or “out of control”), you may want to tap in silence. If you do not have emotional distress, or the level is too low, you may find it ineffective to tap. To resolve this mistake, simply focus on the emotional distress. And then tap it away.

MISTAKE #3: “Big” problems from long ago are more challenging to clear.
EFT is evidence-based for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), phobias, and generalized anxiety. This shows that EFT is effective on intense issues. Events, where there is no emotional distress, are actually more challenging to clear. You should, however, protect yourself. Rather than tapping on your own to clear your big issues, you may want to work with a qualified practitioner.

MISTAKE #4: You must find the “right” words.
This is one of the most common mistakes among new students of EFT. Tapping scripts and tap-alongs support the belief that you must find the right words. It is actually more important to be in your “feeling space.” For effective results with EFT, it is essential to be in your feeling space.

MISTAKE #5: You must always follow the “correct” procedure. This includes stating the Setup three times and calling out Reminder Phrases on the eight primary tapping points. Yes, it is important to know the correct procedures. At the same time, you should not be controlled by them. EFT is a forgiving process. In certain situations, steps can be skipped. The purpose of the Setup, for example, is to resolve Psychological Reversal. Reversals occur only 20% of the time and are associated with a lack of emotion. So, especially when emotions are high, you can eliminate the setup. In addition, individual tapping points can be skipped or missed. On occasion, Reminder Phrases can also be eliminated. Rather than blindly following rules for correctness, you could simply try to focus on the charge and tap the points.

MISTAKE #6: You must call out Reminder Phrases to stay focused on the memory or belief.
Rather than calling out Reminder Phrases to stay focused on the memory or belief, it is more important to stay in your feeling space. Overthinking, that is, being in your “head bubble,” is counterproductive and slows down the process. Calling out Reminder Phrases may cause you to move from your feeling space back to your head bubble. If it does, Reminder Phrases are a distraction. Especially with high emotional intensity, you may want to avoid Reminder Phrases and tap in silence.

MISTAKE #7: You must go through the entire “story” and know how to resolve the presenting issue before you begin tapping.
It is not always necessary to understand the story or the issue. I believe that the best practice is to begin tapping as soon as possible. EFT seems to increase intuition; memories appear exactly when they are needed. The simplest approach is to: (1) find the emotional charge, (2) tap, (3) evaluate, (4) find the emotional charge, (5) tap, (6) evaluate … and so on. Following this process often leads to enlightened, magical, “goose-bump” moments.

MISTAKE #8: Positives are to be avoided. Or, alternatively, positives are to be encouraged.
The use of negatives versus positives while tapping is a common topic for discussion. I believe it is more important to determine whether the words or phrases are charged. For example, if “I am ugly” makes you emotional, this is the correct phrase. If “I am beautiful” makes you emotional, this is the correct phrase.
I have found an interesting relationship between negative self-talk and charged positives. This may provide a clue on which form should be used. Anyway, it does not matter whether words are negative or positive. If you shift your focus to charged phrases, your tapping sessions will be more productive.
Many students of EFT like to repeat blocks of affirmations while tapping. Although this does not provide deep, transitional, permanent shifts, it can be a nice tool for relaxation.

MISTAKE #9: Since there is a benefit to tapping on your own, there is no need to work with a practitioner.
EFT is a self-tool, so it is worthwhile to tap on your own. If you work with a qualified practitioner, though, you will likely find that your results will improve.

MISTAKE #10: You need to be trained in EFT. Or, alternatively, there is no need to be trained in EFT.
Proficiency falls on a continuum. On one side are those who have never been trained. As a self-help tool, it is possible to get results on your own. These results, however, often come with limitations. Further up the spectrum are those who have been trained in the core curriculum. They get consistent results on self-work and on most issues when working with others. The highest level includes those who get consistent results on self-work and on most issues when working with others. Their results are also faster, deeper, and more complete than other EFT practitioners. 

Bonus Mistake #11 is the belief that all practitioners are the same. EFT is simply a tool and, unfortunately, not all practitioners are proficient in its use. Whether you tap on your own, work with a practitioner, or are a practitioner, I hope this article has helped you recognize common tapping mistakes. Understanding and correcting these errors will lead you to consistent, deeper results with EFT.

Valerie Lis, MA, aka “The Tapping Teacher,” Her upcoming book “Simplified EFT: How to Get Exceptional Results Every Time You Tap” includes dozens of new concepts and hundreds of innovative ideas.

09 May

Make Affirmations Effective Using EFT

Affirmations take a lot of perseverance and many people give up on them when they haven’t worked. With EFT, we have an effective tool that will help you get results from these affirmations. The most common reason that positive affirmations often don’t work is that we have negative subconscious beliefs that will undermine the affirmation you are making. Here’s an excerpted piece from an article by Gary Craig.

Gary talks about a woman who weighs 200 pounds and wants to weigh 130 pounds:

Her affirmation is:

“My normal weight is 130 pounds”

She believes that if she keeps repeating that affirmation she will change her mindset about her being 200 pounds. Unfortunately, after her affirmation, she may have one or more negative beliefs or doubts that pop up such as:

“But if I lose the weight, others will expect me to keep it off”

“But if I lose the weight I will have to spend a lot of money for new clothes”

“But if I lose the weight, men will hit on me and expect sex”

“But if I lose the weight, men won’t hit on me and then I will know that I’m not lovable”

“But if I lose the weight, I will have to give up my favorite foods”

This list can be endless. These are just examples. They are not spoken or articulated but are in her mind and she may not even be aware of some, if not all of them. They are the obstacles to losing weight. Can they be eventually overridden by the persistent use of the affirmation?  Probably. However, it’s a rare person who will keep up this persistence because they are not seeing any immediate results and they feel uncomfortable with the emotional discord that goes on between the affirmation and the competing negative belief. They often conclude that they are lying to themselves and just give up. As you can see the affirmation process usually needs help. It needs EFT to erase those limiting beliefs.

This brings us to one of the truly powerful aspects of affirmations, namely that once an affirmation is installed, it is not easily moved. It becomes a permanent part of your persona until you replace it. For instance, those limiting affirmations for our 200 pound woman have taken up residence within her system. They are entrenched. They have become her consistent thoughts, which of course have become her reality. They are stubborn and are not about to be easily “talked away” with an unaided new affirmation.  She sees herself as a 200 pound woman- and that’s it!  Her weight is a reflection of her existing limiting affirmations (the writing on her walls). The good news here is that once the new “130 pound affirmation” truly takes place, it becomes the new consistent thought and is just as obstinate as the previous “200 pound beliefs” which it replaced. To gain weight back would be inconsistent with the new consistent thoughts she has.

If we listen to ourselves talk, we will hear our “limits” and other forms of affirmations. Things like…..

“I can’t sing,” “Women can’t compete in a man’s world,” “I never seem to find the right words,” “I don’t fit in,” etc.

These affirmations keep us right where we are. Affirmations are powerful, very powerful. We are using them every minute of the day. They shape our lives because they reflect our beliefs and our attitudes. You are using them right now as you are reading this. You are consulting your existing affirmations to agree or disagree with what I am saying. Have you found yourself saying, “Yes, but……” while reading this? If so, you are affirming something, probably a limit.

Affirmations are highly reliable and do, indeed, manifest in people’s lives that which is affirmed.

There is no question that properly installed affirmations work very powerfully. The only trick here is to make sure that the affirmation that you really want is the true affirmation.

This is where EFT comes in. It serves as a highly effective eraser for all the negative emotions and beliefs. With the skillful use of EFT, each and every block of personal performance can be eliminated, thereby providing a clean wall on which to write our new consistent thoughts. Erase and replace.  The combination of EFT and affirmations allows us to completely re-engineer our systems. It allows us to erase our blocks and install our dreams.

Up until now, EFT has been a stand-alone eraser without any means to install dreams.  Affirmations, on the other hand, have been a stand-alone tool for installing dreams but without an eraser for the competing negative beliefs.

So let’s look at how to erase those negative beliefs. Some people are not even aware that they have these negative beliefs, they can be deeply embedded in their subconscious and they are so used to living with them. One way you can tell if you have a negative belief running is to check in with your body sensations.

Firstly, say your affirmation aloud. Then notice if you feel any tension, heaviness, tightness, fear or resistance when you say it. Perhaps you feel butterflies in your stomach, a headache, dread, nervousness, or shortness of breath.  If you do, you can be pretty sure you have one or more negative beliefs about the affirmation.  Ask yourself what that might be, if you get an answer, great. If not, you can still simply tap on the negative feeling in the body. Oftentimes once you start to tap, the belief and emotions connected to the feeling will come up. If it doesn’t, tapping on the sensation will still get results.

Look at whether you think you deserve what you are asking for. You may have deep-seated feelings of being undeserving or feelings that if you have success in achieving the affirmation, it will be unsafe for you. Even if you have these feelings, tapping persistently will help to diminish them and replace them with the positive affirmation.

Let’s look at the woman who wanted to lose the weight. Remember that with EFT we want to work on one specific issue at a time. Her first negative belief was:

“But if I lose the weight, others will expect me to keep it off”

She would check on how true that feeling is for her between 1 and 10, 1 being not very true at all and 10 being completely true. In EFT we want to tap on the negative beliefs, feelings, pain first until they rate at a 4 or below on the scale. Then we can add some positive re-framing statements or your affirmation and tap on those statements.

You have to go through each limiting belief before you feel free and positive enough to say your affirmation without any tension or fear.

Below is a Tapping Points chart showing the location of the tapping points. For this Tapping Exercise, you don’t have to tap the Liver Point.

The Tapping Sequence

Tap 5 to 7 times gently on each point with your fingertips (there are meridian energy points at the end of your fingers too!). Use your index and middle finger on your dominant hand or hands as you say each statement.

You can use both hands on the Top of the Head, Eye Brows, Side of the Eyes, Under the Eyes, Collar Bones and Under the Arms. You can switch from one hand to two, whatever feels comfortable. As long as you are tapping on the points, it really doesn’t matter if you are using one hand or two. It’s just as effective either way.

You can use your own statements; these are just some ideas for you to start with:

The woman who wants to lose the weight could tap something like this:

Round 1

Karate Chop Point (KC): “Even though others will expect me to keep the weight off and I don’t know that I can, I deeply and completely accept myself anyway

Even though I am sure everyone will expect me to keep the weight off, I’m open to not caring so much what others think

Even though I am too scared to have that much pressure put on me, I am open to accepting myself completely.”

Top of the Head (TH): They’ll expect me to stay slim

Eyebrow: (EB): It’s too much pressure

Side of The Eye (SE): I don’t want to let anyone down

Under the Eye (UE): It’s too much pressure

Under the Nose (UN): I might disappoint them

Under the Lip/Above chin (CP): I may disappoint myself

Collar Bone (CB): It’s too overwhelming

Under the Arm (UA): I don’t know how it’s even possible to lose that much

Wrist Point (WP): There’s too much expected of me

KC: I don’t want to disappoint


Round 2

TH: I don’t want to disappoint anyone

EB: It’s too much pressure

SE: I don’t want to care what they think

UE: They’ll have expectations

UN: They may put me down

CP: I might be rejected

CB: I’ve been this way for so long, I don’t know who I would be if I were different

UA: I might lose my friends (boyfriend etc)

WP: It’s too threatening

KC: But I’m tried of carrying around this weight

Round 3

TH: It’s too hard

EB: It’s too overwhelming

SE: It’s too much weight to lose

UE: I don’t have enough discipline

UN: Why bother?

CP: It’s too much stress to live up to others’ expectations

CB: I’m afraid if I lose it, I’ll put the weight it back on again

UA: Then I will disappoint everyone and be right back where I started

WP: Why even start?

KC: It’s seems too overwhelming

Round 4

TH: Maybe it’s possible

EB: After all it is my body and I want to feel good about my body

SE: I am open to choosing how I want to feel about my body

UE: I’m giving myself permission to not care what others think of me

UN: I’m giving myself permission to start respecting myself

CP: I’m open to loving myself and my body

CB: What if I could care more about what I think rather than what others think?

UA: What if I could value myself more?

WP: What if I could do this for me?

KC: What if I could feel safe losing weight?

Round 5

TH: What if I could try it a little every day?

EB: What if I could be consistent?

SE: What if I could have more respect for myself than caring what others think of me?

UE: I am open to feeling safe no matter what weight I am

UN: I am a good person no matter what weight I am

CP: I am choosing to value and respect myself

CB: I am choosing to have healthy expectations of myself

UA: What if it could have fun losing the extra pounds?

WP: Maybe I could look forward to all I can do, when I am slimmer

KC: Maybe I can look forward to feeling really great about myself and my health no matter what

KC: I am choosing to lose weight for my own health and my own sake

KC: I am choosing to feel safe losing weight for me

That was a quick 5 rounds. Now remember everyone is different. You may need to tap more on the negative beliefs before you start tapping in the positive. Make sure you tune in to your feelings, start trusting those feelings instead of your head (sometimes your mind will play tricks with you but your body holds the truth).

The end result for the woman losing the weight would be that she would want to feel that it isn’t so important to her what others think about her weight. Then she can cross that negative, limiting belief off her list and move on to the next or she may need to tap on it for a few days, if it is a deep ingrained belief. If she tested it, which we all need to do, she would ask herself how true is the statement:

“But if I lose the weight, others will expect me to keep it off” .

If it is at a 0 or a 1, you can be pretty sure it’s done but if it is still at a 3 or 4 more tapping is needing to be done.

Now say the affirmations again and see how true it feels for you?

You can use the above example to work with any affirmations. One of the things that I do is little affirmations so that it doesn’t feel too impossible or overwhelming a task for me. I just keep chipping away at it and adding more affirmations when I have achieved the first one and eventually I get success.

One other point I want to mention here is that as you are tapping, memories and many feelings may come up that are connected to those negative beliefs. For the woman wanting to lose the weight, it may be that family members or kids in school teased her about her weight. She may have been molested or felt physically threatened. Whenever you are tapping please be aware that sometimes deeply buried trauma may come up. I strongly suggest that you work with an experienced practitioner if there is something traumatic that does comes up for you. There is help out there for you and you shouldn’t have to be alone with it, you can get help and freedom. If very scary feelings do come up for you, just tap the scary feelings down,take deep breaths, telling yourself “everything is going to be okay,” which it will be, tapping will calm them. Look at it as an opportunity for you to heal unresolved trauma. Find a skilled, knowledgeable and compassionate professional who is trained in trauma therapy.

This was just an example of one affirmation. You can affirm anything, you can work on finances, relationships, confidence, business goals, health, golf scores, performance anxiety, you name it. Take this formula and tap away any negative or limiting beliefs you may have, using the above template.

Try using EFT with your affirmations and I wish you great success. Please email me if you have any questions at:


You can view Gary Craig’s website at: www.emofree.com

14 Aug

Follow Your Joy

There are many things I love to do in life and one of those at the top of my list is my work. Working with clients and helping them to heal and to reach their goals is one of my greatest joys. I am deeply grateful for all those who have helped me on my journey to be where I am in my career. I wish the same for you that you may also be doing the work you love.

Working for myself means I have to be pretty disciplined with where I put my time and energy. As much as I love my one on one sessions and workshops, the ‘business’ side can be a challenge to me. This ‘work’ never seems to end unless I put up boundaries for myself to create more balance.

I have found that when I give myself time to follow my other interests that I enjoy as well, I end up attracting more clients and wonderful opportunities come knocking at my door.

It’s all about energy and how I feel. The more we tap into our joy, our vibration is automatically lifted higher.  We are in a state of flow and good things are attracted to us. For me, it may be singing, dancing, exercising, reading and spending time with family and friends.

What is it that brings you joy, makes you feel great and is in alignment with your creativity? It may be something that you can create a career out of or use as an adjunct to your career. Remember not to judge as you let your heart rule in this exercise and let your imagination soar. Ask yourself some ‘What if” questions such as, “What if I could teach tennis (or whatever is your passion) this way I could get to play more,  help others get better at it and enjoy it more AND get paid at the same time!  Let your imagination have fun with it.

What brings you joy?

Here are some great questions to ask yourself about what brings you joy from Louise Gale http://louisegale.com/.

Write your answers down, meditate on them with an open mind and heart.  Be careful not to judge your answers just let them flow and make it fun, as if you were a kid again.

1. What activities make you feel happy and get you excited?

2. What are the feelings associated with those activities?  Remember you can have more than one activity that brings you joy.

3. Which of these activities do you lose track of time with?  When we are truly doing what we love, we forget about time. We are in the ‘zone’.

4. Would you do it for free?  If you had enough money to live on comfortably for the rest of your life, which of these activities would you choose to spend your time on?

5. What are your favorite things to talk about with others when given the chance? We get excited when we are passionate about something. If you are not sure what that might be, why not ask those around you what you get really passionate about. You might be surprised.

6. Last but not least, if you had a magic wand, and no constraints at all, what would you love to be doing every day that makes you feel great inside? Maybe you are closer than you think!

I’ve always believed that anything is possible. All you have to do is dream it, believe it and put the action steps in to achieve it. Any resistance or procrastination to achieving your goals we just tap on (do EFT, Emotional Freedom Techniques) to move through and release. You are worth achieving your goals and being happy!






11 Jun

Beliefs are Passed Down Through the Generations.

Photo credit: Sebastián León Prado on Unsplash


Everything we experience in life is filtered through our beliefs about ourselves.

It seems simple to say, “if I could just change how I feel about myself then everything will fall into place and I will achieve my dreams.”

Easier said then done, right?. We know that you can say affirmations ad infinitum and yet you still may not be making the money you wanted, or have found that perfect relationship, job or career. You’re still procrastinating and still walking around in fear with stress and anxiety.

Remember that your subconscious is running 95% of your life. You can’t change those subconscious beliefs by working hard, saying affirmations or by getting success coaching. These things can definitely help but if they are not working, it is an indication that you still have negative beliefs and/or trapped trauma that stops you from moving forward out of fear.  If there are parts of you that feel it is not safe to reach your goals, they are going to stop you in any way they can or if you achieve your goals somehow, they may come in and sabotage you. Don’t stop saying those affirmations but you must at the same time heal the trauma and let go of those accompanying limiting beliefs.

Where do these beliefs come from?

We create beliefs about ourselves from experiences which we have had during our lives and the lies we believed about life and ourselves when a traumatic event occurred.  In order to survive (and we are all about survival), our subconscious creates a belief to keep us safe. The belief is usually ‘not true’ but it remains in our subconscious and running the rest of our life. If we do not transform it, it will continue to run our lives, causing us all kinds of problems.

We also absorb beliefs that our parents and ancestors have unwittingly passed on. A child’s brain, between the ages of 0 to 3 years of age, functions at the Delta frequency. Between the ages of 4-7, the child’s brain functions predominantly at the Theta frequency.
 This means that from childbirth (or even in the womb) to the age of 7, your brain registered things at an “hypnotic” level and drove them deep into your subconscious mind. Those formative years created the foundation for how you will react to the outside world for the rest of your life, unless you learn to change the programming at the subconscious level.


As we only have Theta, Delta and Alpha brain waves up until the age of 7 years, we are in an hypnotic state. What we experience and witness from early childhood we believe to be true.  After all our parents are our gods to us when we are children, our survival is completely in their hands, why wouldn’t we believe them, we don’t know anything different and we don’t have a choice.

Much of the learning we received from our nuclear family and our ancestors get passed on automatically and we believe them to be true. These can affect our choices for the rest of our lives if we don’t take care of them at the subconscious and cellular level.
Our lives and our experiences and challenges have profound importance, they can form our identity and can affect who we become in this life. We all experience trauma of some kind and have obstacles to overcome and grow from.  They are our own particular and unique school of life and profoundly connected to our purpose.   These traumas and lessons are the basis of how we are going to ‘give back’ with the wisdom we have gained through working through our challenges.

How do we grow from these negative beliefs and traumas?

By  healing the beliefs we learned. Some of the techniques I have found to be helpful and transforming are EFT and Matrix Reimprinting,  Destiny Coaching, Internal Family Systems and the Grief Recovery Method. If the client is open I also bring in a way they feel a loving connection to the Divine. Oftentimes trauma can cause a feeling or belief that we are alone in the world, or that we are unloved, or unlovable. Having the deep understanding that there is a kind and benevolent Higher Power who loves us deeply and will never abandon us and is within us all, can be healing in and of itself.  Many people have been wounded by religion and are angry at God and so we can even address these issues or put them on the back burner and work in a very clinical way.  Everyone’s needs are different and respected.  I am astounded sometimes with the profound learning I have received about my life.  Each memory I went back to that was traumatic, I am now able to see differently with gratitude and forgiveness. I see how if I didn’t have these experiences then I wouldn’t be doing what I am doing now.  I realize the value of these experiences in my life’s journey.

“ Don’t turn away, keep your gaze on the bandaged places. That is where the light enters you” ~ Rumi

Even though we may be victims as children, subconsciously we can carry that belief throughout our lives even though the abuse happened many years ago. It can run your life behind the scenes and sabotage golden opportunities and friendships. You can be free and get to choose what you want to walk away from and not because of fear.

At this momentous time in the world, we are beginning to understand the harmful effects of trauma on the body, mind and spirit but we can also experience the power of God’s love, the power of our hearts, minds and souls to heal.  We have the opportunity to break the negative belief patterns that have been passed down through our ancestors with the techniques I have learned.  Our parents were the wounded children of their parents and so on. This is miraculous and transforming. This is going to help change the world for the better one heart, one soul at a time.

If you are interested in breaking the ancestral wounding and negative beliefs and trauma that has been passed on through to your generation and perhaps to your children and getting free, please email me at info@gailmae.com for more information.

Love from,