As I was doing my morning meditation and prayer, surrendering my life and asking God to please inspire me and guide me as to the best way to go forward in my business, the best way to serve my clients and the best way I can be a parent and wife. The word ‘beloved’ came up, and in so many contexts this is such a beautiful word. Beloved because I am beloved by God and for most of my life I believed I was forgotten, not loved and very unlovable.
Beloved because we are all beloved by God even at the most difficult times of our lives. Beloved when we are suffering and oftentimes not able to see the love that is around us. Beloved when we are rejecting ourselves. Beloved because we are loved even at our worst. We have been forgiven. When Jesus died on the cross, He paid the price for us. There is nothing that we have ever done that we can not be forgiven for when we repent. There is no right no wrong, no black or white, only love. Know that if you struggle with accepting love and seeing how beloved by God you are, it is because you at some point in your life made the assumption, got the belief that you were not lovable and not deserving of love. So you continue to run that subconscious belief, because it is so uncomfortable for you to admit this. You stuff it down, push it aside, pretend it’s not there and perhaps self medicate with cigarettes, food, alcohol, drugs and procrastination. You suffer aches and pains and serious illnesses, anything but to see and admit this awful belief. Well I want you to know that those beliefs are a lie. Not to have you punish yourselves yet again but to know that you can be free, you can know love from the deepest part of your being.
All you have to do is surrender your suffering, surrender your grief, surrender you fears to God and ask for help. On the other side of suffering is joy and peace. We are all ‘strands in this web of life’ (Chief Seattle’s quote). We are energetically connected not separate even though we have to go through our own journey, our own lessons and experience our own suffering and our great joys. No one is separate from some trauma and suffering. Some have more than others that’s all. We can come home to the real self, the real self that is a part of God, the unconditional love of the Divine Creator. You are not alone and there is always, always help along the way. For me, I have been working on myself since my late teens. My help came in many forms and the most profound for me is Matrix Reimprinting. I had assumed beliefs about myself from my upbringing, from years of sexual abuse and such. I believed I was black inside, rotten, disgusting. I was ashamed and I had to hide this part of myself.
Wow, it’s hard to believe that a little girl could believe such things about herself deep down but that is what can happen and happens around us to many people all the time. No wonder people as they grow up sabotage their success, have relationships where their partners treat them badly and are not appreciated at work. Sad to say we attract what we believe in our deepest hearts. Matrix Reimprinting helped me to go back and see the reality of what happened to me, that it was not about me but more about the people who did things to me. I was able to release the trauma aspects of events and my younger self could heal and find forgiveness.
I had a choice to forgive and to see the reality of the situation and to see the real me. The real me which is and was always worthy of unconditional love and ‘beloved’ by God. And so it is true for you too. There is no blame for anyone. I see now my abusers as my greatest teachers, I see that the suffering I went through was an opportunity for me to choose unconditional love and forgiveness at every point. To choose the love of God. I have to choose forgiveness every day for myself when I screw up, when I am impatient and with my many other faults. I choose to forgive others when they screw up and hurt me unwittingly. To me it is the only answer to true freedom.
I’m on my journey and I welcome you on yours. Know that you are worthy and deserving! Do you have the courage to step into your greatness, your magnificence! The way God sees you? I see the potential in all my clients even though they may not see it in themselves. It takes persistence, a never give up attitude and a willingness to surrender and trust in a God of total unconditional love and forgiveness.
You are and always were ‘beloved’,