28 Jun

EFT-Tapping and Journaling


Steve Wells an EFT Practitioner from Australia provides this simple but powerful method for getting the most out of EFT while applying it to yourself.
He calls the process “Journaling” and, in essence, it involves writing down all those extra aspects, beliefs and thoughts that show up during the EFT process. Each such item represents a new avenue for personal EFT exploration and, unless captured in writing, tends to be forgotten. However, writing down (and addressing) this daisy chain of events allows a more in-depth EFT experience. New perspectives and core issues are likely to surface.
Steve writes:

I have found it quite productive to do a journaling process with EFT while sitting in front of my computer. I begin by typing out a description of the challenge, problem, negative thought, negative belief or behavior that I want to work on. Then I do a round or two of EFT on that problem. As more thoughts and feelings come up, I type these onto the screen.

I can type quite quickly and as I work through various aspects it is very helpful to see – as well as feel – the shifts that occur literally in front of my eyes. Whether the aspects that come up are feelings, memories, thoughts or belief statements, I type them onto the screen and then include them in a new tapping sequence.

As I type I find I gain greater clarity and conscious understanding of my issues and I find that the subsequent tapping rounds I do are more focused and therefore more productive. Whilst I have found that typing onto the screen works for me because I can do so very rapidly, those who write faster than typing, or who prefer to write, could complete notes in a paper journal as they tapped through the various aspects.

I find the best feature regarding this approach occurs at the end of the tapping session. When I go back over the stuff I have typed onto the screen I get to see just how far I have moved from where I began. Often I am amazed at just how much ground I have covered, and also gratified to find that the issues or aspects I started with no longer bother me anymore.

I have found that in regular tapping sessions, my natural tendency is to just move onto the next aspect that comes up. As the previous aspects drop naturally from my consciousness it is easy to forget that I was pretty upset when I first sat down to tap. Many times I haven’t realized the full benefit of my regular tapping sessions until long “after the fact” when I confront a situation that would otherwise have upset me and find it doesn’t any longer. I’m sure this situation is familiar to many who do the tapping on a regular basis.

The journaling process overcomes these challenges, and not only assists you in clarifying aspects as you go but also allows you to realize and celebrate the changes you have made immediately after you make them. I find this immediate feedback on results to be a very gratifying element of the approach and I recommend it to everyone who wants to go further in their tapping sessions.

Steve Wells

As you may have experienced, EFT is an amazing tool to get breakthroughs in your life. We can have stuck places in our life which cause problems in different areas of our life. I hope this article helps your tapping at home. If you experiment with journaling and tapping and you get results please let me know and we can share it with others to help and support them in getting free too!

In freedom,


21 Jun

Creating Positive Habits and Mindsets.


Last week I talked about healing as the first step in “How to get Unstuck” and how healing is important to be able to transform the negative beliefs we learned about ourselves. Those beliefs get in the way of us seeing our true selves and of having the ability to discover our life messages and our purpose.

The second step is to create positive habits and mindsets.

One way is to imprint the new positive beliefs we learned during healing. We can do this by declaring or affirming the positive belief every day, perhaps two times a day or more until it is so firmly a part of you that you can’t imagine ever having not believed it. Tapping at the same time can help to bring any negative beliefs down to a 0 and then help to affirm and solidify the positive belief imprints.

For instance, you might have the belief that you aren’t good enough. After healing you may learn the truth that you are valuable and worthy of love and your declaration or affirmation would be  “I am valuable and worthy of love.“ It’s even better if you can bring to mind the positive image and the feelings you received during the healing session when you are making your declaration. It may take some time and you may need quite a few healing sessions until your system will accept this new belief but with persistence, it works!

I like biblical truths too because they carry more weight as it is from God and not just from me. “You are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you. Fear not, for I am with you” – (Isaiah 43:4)

You could have a belief that you will never have a happy relationship and when that was changed for you in healing sessions you could declare, “I have healthy and long-term relationships.” or “I feel safe when I am in relationships with others, I know my boundaries.” I have lists of affirmations and declarations, so let me know if you want them and I’ll pass them on to you.

In one way our feelings are important because they are a pathway to our beliefs but also our feelings can be deceptive if the belief connected to them is negative. This is why the first step of healing is so important otherwise the wounded parts of you will take over and not ‘believe’ the positive affirmations. That being said if you are feeling scared and you have to go on stage, deliver a presentation, manage stressful work situations and people or go on a date and you want to feel confident and comfortable in your skin, it’s amazing how your mood can be changed by first acknowledging the usually young terrified parts, hearing what they have to say, witnessing to their suffering and pain, letting them know they are not alone and that together you can do this and, with you, they are safe.

So do the tapping on your fears bringing them down to a 0 and then choose a positive affirmation that is more aligned to the truth (at first, it can feel like you are pretending) choose these positive feelings and truths over and over again in your life. The key is to believe that you are deserving of these feelings even though it will take some work and persistence on your part.

Declarations and affirmations are one great positive daily habit that will help you to create a positive mindset by choosing to believe in them, in you and to persevere. They say it takes 21 days to change a habit. I think it takes even more than that if you carried negative beliefs for years and if there was major trauma. Keep at it, you are worth it!

In freedom and love,


11 Jun

How To Get Unstuck!


Last week we talked about life messages, the messages you are to share with the world,  contribute to the world and the wisdom you have from your unique experiences in life.

Some of these experiences may have been so negative that they can overtake any of the positive experiences you had. We can feel trapped by them, stuck in them and can’t seem to overcome them. I want you to know that they are actually the keys to you understanding your life messages and transformation and freedom is possible.

Once you have healed the beliefs you took on during those negative experiences you are no longer a victim to them but rather you now have the wisdom and knowledge to help others to overcome them also. Once you are free, you can make a difference. When you are still stuck in them it is hard to help yourself or others.

So the first step is to heal.

Talking about these negative experiences to a therapist can be therapeutic to a point but if you are stuck in the negative story and you think that if I just keep talking about it, you will get some insight and by getting this insight you are going to get free. Maybe it’s possible that that kind of thinking is why people have been in therapy for years. The talking about the issue lets off some steam because you have a non-judgmental ear but has that issue actually been transformed where it is not an issue anymore and no longer causes you grief, aggravation, and stress?

I was always frustrated when I went to talk therapy because I knew my story over and over and I wasn’t interested in that negative story anymore, I wanted it transformed. I wanted to change the negative story into a positive story. Remember that 95% of our life is run by our subconscious, so if we want to heal those deep core negative beliefs, we have to do it through the subconscious. No one seemed to be able to help me back then so I went about learning the techniques I now use with others and using them for myself, I became free.

Are we ever finished growing, learning and becoming even freer? I don’t believe we are ever done. There is always more to achieve and contribute isn’t there? I’m excited to continue on this journey, I hope you are too.

The second step after healing is to create positive habits.

One positive habit can be exercising.  It’s a discipline that makes us feel younger, stronger and happier. I could go on and on about the benefits of exercise for the mind and the body but exercising is only one aspect of taking care of ourselves. We need to have positive habits for our minds, our thoughts, and our emotions too. We need to take any negative thoughts captive and replace them with positive ones after we do the first step of healing.

More on step two next week, to be continued….

Have a great week!



07 Jun

What are Your Life Messages?

What is the message you carry for the world?

What are you meant to contribute to the world?

What is the wisdom you carry from your unique experiences in life?

A life message is something that is so intrinsically part of who you are. You convey it in how you live, what you do and how you do it and in many other ways. Your life message carries weight because it has your heart, your values, your experiences, your internal transformation and your relationship with God behind it.  When you speak from knowing who you are and from your unique life messages, others believe the message because it has weight, authority, and power behind it.

Life messages are intertwined with your purpose. Together they are the places where you can bring hope, freedom, and insight to the world.

A Life Message can be a very short phrase but when you unpack these words, you find there is a much deeper meaning and a bigger message which you could speak about for hours.

One of my Life Messages is:- “people are valuable beyond measure to God”. So much of my coaching is helping people to see their unique value. Often we will have to heal traumatic memories where limiting beliefs were learned about ourselves. These limiting beliefs get in the way or block us seeing who we really are, our value as a human being and the positive impact we could have in the world.

One of the ways we can discover our life messages is to notice what we could get on a soapbox and talk about.  For me, I could go on and on about people taking advantage of others and not valuing them. I get angry when I see people misusing their authority and robbing others (oftentimes children) of having a healthy self-confidence to be able to follow their dreams. We all deserve to know at the core of our being that we are worthy and deserving of love and respect and that God loves us unconditionally. So you can see why I have that particular life message, it came from my life experiences of not feeling valuable. It’s taken me a lifetime of learning, discovering, healing and breakthrough to see my value and I am committed to helping others see theirs!

Here’s a great journaling exercise for you to start discovering your life message or messages. Ask yourself these questions and write down your answers.


  • What makes you mad/angry?


  • What do you see on the news or a movie that makes you shout at the TV?


  • What do you find yourself unable to stop engaging in and giving your point of view on?


  • What would you love to speak about to the president about if you had 15 minutes with him or her?


  • What are the topics that friends and family come to you about or send others to you for because you seem to have a lot of knowledge and a lot to say about them?


  • What do you disagree with strongly or clash with when others speak about it?


  • What is it that you agree with strongly and want everyone to know about when you hear it?


After writing these out, look for a theme. This is a clue to your life message or messages. There are more ways we can hone in and clarify your life messages and we’ll talk about those in another blog. Remember there are reasons why we get angry about certain injustices and when we get clear about them there is a powerful message waiting to be shared with the world.





Much of this blog is taken from and inspired by the teaching of Tina Southgate from http://destinycoachingministries.com/

26 Apr

Internal Family Systems – IFS

Internal Family Systems or IFS, as it is commonly called, is an extremely effective and gentle technique for healing and helping the different parts of ourselves feel integrated within us. These parts are very often working against each other in the mistaken belief that they are helping our system be safe.

What may be a simple way to describe IFS is to use me as an example. In my 20’s I was performing on Broadway and even though there were parts of me that loved being in the limelight, getting lots of attention and sharing my joy of dance, there were other parts of me filled with shame that simply wanted to hide. Now I didn’t realize this at the time, I did know I was struggling emotionally with accepting this success. There were parts that felt guilty creating stress and fear and I numbed out a lot. Knowing what I do now, I can see that there were parts that were terrified for me to fully let go and enjoy myself, that the shame parts I was carrying would be revealed deep down, if I wasn’t vigilant in keeping them deeply buried. Unfortunately or fortunately, however, you would like to look at it, the wounded parts were always wanting to be seen, heard and witnessed for the pain and the burden of shame it had taken on its little shoulders early on in life.  I also knew from past experience that to express this deep trauma to just anyone was not a safe option.

After being in a year-long training for IFS I am happy to add it to my techniques to help clients heal. It works beautifully with both EFT and Matrix Reimprinting. Add to that mix my grief recovery work which always holds the client in a compassionate, accepting and non-judgemental place where they feel safe to express themselves and to heal, I feel that I have found a lovely inner healing mix of techniques that help people break free and ready to step into their ideal life. Destiny Coaching then takes them to their next level of action into reaching their full potential.

As a clinical treatment, IFS has been rated effective for improving general functioning and well-being. In addition, it has been rated promising for, improving phobia, panic, and generalized anxiety disorders and symptoms; physical health conditions and symptoms; personal resilience/self-concept; and depression and depressive symptoms.

To learn more about IFS and to see its developer, Dr. Richard Schwartz speak about IFS in this video overview click here:


To read more about IFS as an evidence-based therapy on the NREPP (National Registry of Evidenced-based Programs and Practices), click below:


I am happy to chat with you if you would like to learn more about IFS and how I integrate it with EFT and my other modalities.

Photo Credits: Butterfly Jian Xhin on Unsplash

Mountains w/sun Photo by Bailey Zindel on Unsplash

Click the button below to contact Gail for a complimentary 20-minute Consultation Call.

24 Apr

How EFT Calms Anxiety and Heals Trauma

A Brief Overview of how EFT Calms Anxiety.

When we feel anxiety, we are experiencing or re-experiencing what we believe to be a fearful event. Now that event may be deeply buried in our subconscious and so we are often frustrated as to why we are so anxious and, why, no matter what we do, the anxiety and fear persist. No matter how much we try to think our way out of it, we are still at the effect of the anxiety and fear.

When a fearful or traumatic event occurs in our life when we are young, a belief is formed at the time. When similar events occur over and over again the belief is further imprinted in our subconscious. A trauma capsule is formed by our system at the time of the event to protect us from being overwhelmed by the feelings of that traumatic event. As human beings, we are all about survival and our system tries to protect at all costs. The event gets ‘frozen in time’ and a blockage in our energy system is formed.

Fast forward to the present and as we go through our lives certain experiences may trigger the past event that was scary, shameful or terrifying and we find ourselves shutting down, paralyzed, getting angry or having anxiety. If it is overwhelming and continuous we can develop physical symptoms from headaches to serious illnesses. If the subconscious traumatic event and the beliefs learned at the time are not healed and transformed.

Therefore when we are in a situation in the present where we become re-triggered, we experience it as if we are the same age as when the original event occurred. With the techniques of EFT, Matrix Reimprinting, IFS (Internal Family Systems) and the tapping on the end meridian points on the body gently un-freezes the trauma capsule, helping our system and the younger self to feel safe and to learn new empowering beliefs about life and themselves. With major trauma, it is always good to work with an experienced practitioner who can skillfully guide you through the healing an transformation process.

You are so worth it!

With love always,

09 Apr

7 Ways to feel Healthier and Happier!

Feeling happy and healthy takes a combination of being aware and consciously working with three parts of our system, our mind, body, and spirit. Here are some of the things that I have found helpful over the years to keep me healthy and gives me peace of mind, joy, and fulfillment. It’s a journey and I am learning new things all the time. I’d love to share them with you.

  1. Be Active

I’m a big believer in being active and exercising, whether you’re going to the gym, playing a sport, dancing, hiking, swimming, walking and jogging, whatever it is that you enjoy doing. There are so many benefits to being active and here are just a few:

  • Increased blood flow It’s crucial for good health. Your heart pumps about 5 quarts of blood through your body’s system of blood vessels each minute and delivers oxygen to help eliminate waste. When circulation is poor, your blood doesn’t flow as vigorously and symptoms can include numbness in your fingers and toes, fluid retention, bloating and lack of energy.
  • Increased brain sensitivity – for the hormones serotonin and norepinephrine, which relieve feelings of depression, making you feel happier.
  • Reduces anxiety.
  • Maintains and builds strong muscles and bones – which are going to allow you to have more strength and flexibility to do all the things you want to achieve.
  • Increased energy.
  • Helps you to focus better by increasing blood flow to the brain – keeps you aware with less brain fog, increasing memory and thinking skills, causes the hippocampus (vital for memory and learning) to grow in size.
  • Helps to keep your weight down.
  • Reduces the risk of chronic disease.
  • Reduces changes in the brain that can cause Alzheimer’s disease and schizophrenia.
  • Helps you relax and sleep better.
  • Reduces pain.

2. Take care of your Emotional Life

Emotional health is a daily discipline we cannot neglect. It’s like going to the gym or brushing our teeth, an everyday thing. Many of us grew up in homes that repressed emotions, we didn’t learn healthy ways of expressing them or weren’t allowed to express them. They became deeply buried and only explode out in the worst of times when we get triggered and can’t hold them in any longer or we manage to continue to hold them in which causes all kinds of physical, mental and emotional problems. 

If we don’t acknowledge and heal any repressed trauma in our life (no matter how big or small), it can cause problems in our careers, in the quality of our relationships, chronic diseases, depression, and Alzheimer’s. If you are struggling with doing this on your own, seek help in finding out what your core beliefs are about yourself that are held in your subconscious and how to change them if needed. Your deeply held core beliefs affect your emotions and your reactions to everything.

95% of our life is run by our subconscious, we can ’will’ things to happen just so much before the subconscious takes over and we start sabotaging. Once these core beliefs are transformed, your subconscious will be able to accept and believe positive affirmations so you are free to create your ideal life.

3. Develop and use your mind by:

  • Reading books and perhaps attend a book club
  • Writing and doing research, attend a writing course
  • Taking college courses or any other type of course
  • Crossword puzzles (those that stretch your mind), chess and mind games
  • Learn another language or a musical instrument
  • Eat a healthy diet (more on diet below).
  • Teach a skill to others
  • Listening to others – as we become more interested in others, we not only learn a lot but it develops parts of our brain
  • Learn a new hobby or skill
  • Write things down–longhand. Research has shown that writing down new information longhand helps you integrate it more thoroughly and recall it more easily.
  • Stop smoking. Researchers have found evidence that smoking impedes cognitive function and may even shrink the size of your brain’s hippocampus. It can decrease abilities related to memory, planning, and overall mental ability.
  • Get plenty of sleep
  • Listening to certain music
  • Spirituality and faith practices such as contemplation, prayer, and meditation. As Andrew Newberg, director of research at the Jefferson Myrna Brind Center of Integrative Medicine at Thomas Jefferson University and Hospital and author of the book, “How God Changes Your Brain”, says “As you grow spiritually, as you change your beliefs, as you enhance your sense of compassion, for instance, this affects the brain. If you practice prayer a lot, for example, data shows that these practices actually change your brain over time. Specifically increased activity in the frontal lobes (one of the areas in the brain involved with compassion and positive emotions.

4. Spirituality and Sense of Purpose

Your spirituality is connected to your mind, your body and your emotions. When we are seeking happiness only from our own worldly experience, we are going to come up short because, well, we only have our experience to rely on and for many of us, that might not be enough to feel safe, loved and accepted. Also as much as there are great people around to learn from, they don’t have the unique and specific perspective and connection with your higher power that you have. God wants to have a relationship with us but we have to seek it and want it also. In “Psychology Today” Ryan T. Howell Ph.D. says that spiritual people are gracious, optimistic, compassionate, savor life experiences, flourish, and self-actualize.

Connecting to God will help you to discover your purpose. Having a strong sense of your purpose gives you the strength to get through difficult times because you know that those times give you the learning and inner strength that makes you grow in character. A new study from Northwestern University finds that people who know their purpose also have the benefit of sleeping better at night. Having a purpose outside yourself is good not only for your mental health but it’s also good for your physical health, longevity and even your genes. Those with a greater sense of purpose, no matter what age or education level, scored better on tests of memory, executive and cognitive functions than people with less purpose.

5. Be Grateful

No matter how difficult and challenging things are in your life, there is always something to be grateful for, whether it is a roof over your head or a friend you can rely on or a pillow to put your head on at night. When we cultivate gratitude, we increase our well-being and happiness. In addition, gratitude—and especially expressing it to others—is associated with increased energy, optimism, and empathy. If we look at it from an energetic point of view it raises your vibrational energy.

6. Give Back

As Alice G. Walton writes in Forbes magazine, “Most philosophies and religions, include a strong sense of giving back to the world. Not only does it have the obvious benefit of helping others, but it’s apparently one of the most therapeutic things we can do for ourselves. Mahatma Gandhi said, “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” When we do this, we get to see how our problems are not so big in the grand scheme of things and that others have suffered deeply also. When we share each other’s burdens they become lighter!

7. Eat a Healthy Diet

Eating a healthy diet helps you on multiple levels, mind, body, and spirit. I’m not going to take much time here talking about diet as this could be a whole blog in and of itself. I remember years ago I found myself in the hospital having all sorts of tests for my heart as I was having dizzy spells. After spending 3 or 4 days in the hospital, reading a novel and getting lots of rest in between tests, I realized I was only suffering from stress. The tests came out perfectly normal but I knew I needed to take better care of myself. I had been putting myself last on the list. I went to a naturopath and changed my diet. I had to be strict at first and I took a lot of vitamins and supplements. It was incredible the change I felt in my energy levels, my mood, my sense of being able to affect change in my life and in my confidence. I’m not as strict anymore but I try to stay as healthy as possible, it is so worth it! My prayer for you is that you can add some of these ideas into your life so you can feel happier and healthier and make a positive difference in your life!





Photo credits:

Top Photo: Zachary Nelson on Unsplash

Chess:  rawpixel.com on Unsplash

Vegetables:  Alexandr Podvalny on Unsplash

Some Sources:

Sleep and Purpose Study:

Is purpose in life associated with less sleep disturbance in older adults


Purpose in life and cognitive functioning in adulthood


18 Mar

Feel more Calm with Deep Breathing and Stimulating the Vagus Nerve

                                                                                   Photo credit – Amanda Hirsch/Flickr


Stimulating the vagus nerve is important as it reduces stress, anxiety, anger and inflammation by activating the relaxation response of our parasympathetic nervous system. Deep slow diaphragmatic breathing stimulates the nerve and lowers stress responses associated with the “fight or flight” mechanisms in the body. This deep breathing also improves heart rate variability (HRV) which is the measurement of variations within beat-to-beat intervals of the heart.

I started thinking again about the vagus nerve when my Pilates teacher reminded me to think about the vagus nerve while I was doing my exercises in class. Just taking my mind’s attention towards the nerve and off the fact I was doing the difficult teaser exercises was huge in helping me do the exercises more calmly, to breathe more deeply and rhythmically and consequently all my exercises became better and more controlled. It made doing the exercises easier and I felt stronger.

People suffering with intense anxiety can find it difficult for them to take deep breaths. This is where EFT can be so effective to help the mind/body to relax enough to even begin to take those deep breaths.  An experiment you can do to see how deeply you are able to breathe is to tap on the EFT meridian points for a few rounds while checking on the depth of your breath, as you keep tapping and checking on the capacity of your lungs to take in air in a relaxed way, you will find you can take deeper and deeper breaths. To learn more about what Gary Craig calls the Constricted Breathing EFT Technique, you can click on this link to the page on his website:


More about the Vagus Nerve

The vagus nerve runs from the brain stem and travels all the way down into the belly, spreading fibers to the tongue, pharynx, vocal cords, lungs, heart, stomach, intestines. It also connects to glands that produce anti-stress enzymes and hormones like Acetylcholine, Prolactin, Vasopressin, Oxytocin. These hormones influence digestion, metabolism, and naturally, the relaxation response. The vagus nerve is the most important element of the parasympathetic nervous system. It’s the one that calms you down by reducing your heart rate, blood pressure and controlling your relaxation response

As you become mindful of your vagus nerve throughout your body and able to take deep breaths, notice whether it helps you to feel more calm.

Start taking deep breaths by inhaling into your belly and expanding your diaphragm, while counting to five. Then very slowly exhale while puckering your lips. To get into a vagus-nerve stimulation mode, try reducing the number of breaths from the usual 10-14 per minute to 5-7 per minute. Don’t forget that if this is really hard for you to do you can do EFT-Tapping first so that you can be relaxed enough. Studies have shown that practicing 10 minutes a day of tapping and deep breathing is enough for you to notice you’re relaxing. The key is diligence. Without forcing it, gradually work on reducing the number of breaths per minute. The whole point is feeling more relaxed. It will also help you to start to be mindful of when you notice yourself in that ‘fight or flight’ place and to take some deep breaths and slow down to be able to take better care of yourself.






Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-athletes-way/201705/diaphragmatic-breathing-exercises-and-your-vagus-nerve


Vagus Nerve

Liz Newman: http://liznewmanacupuncture.com/2015/09/

Image of  Parasympathetic Innervation
ImageSource: intranet.tdmu.edu.ua

05 Mar

Joy – What part does it play in our lives?

Photo Credit: Tom Scott

I did an experiment recently where I took all the issues that my clients had in the last 2 years and I did a graph. One of the highest rated issues that showed up was that they wanted to experience more joy in their lives.

We’re all are meant to be experiencing joy and that is something that God wants for us too. Our longings and the passions in our heart are there for a reason. They align us with our purpose and our destiny. We are supposed to feel joy!

Try to listen to that small still voice within you, be still and take your attention inside.  Sometimes God speaks to us in dreams, in our waking experiences, or in prompting us to call someone, or in a person we meet. God is working in our lives all the time in the spiritual realm and in the natural world. So keep your eyes and ears attuned to all the messages you’re receiving. If they are positive they are from God, if they are negative or derogatory you can be sure they are not from God. God wants you to be in joy, He wants you to be living with a divinely inspired freedom. He wants to co-create life, your joyful life, with you.

Here’s the dictionary meaning of joy: a feeling of great pleasure and happiness.” tears of joy” – delight, great pleasure, joyfulness, jubilation, triumph, exultation, rejoicing, happiness, gladness, glee, exhilaration, exuberance, elation, euphoria, bliss, ecstasy, rapture.

Here’s the antonym: misery

I think we would all like to be feeling joy rather than misery. Sadly, many are living lives frustrated that they can’t feel joy. We all deserve to be happy, though some of us have never known how that feels. If you’ve never felt joy, it may mean that you need more healing to take place before you can even access the positive aspects of who you are. There may be are parts of you crying out to be seen, heard, witnessed and acknowledged for the pain you went through. For some, the childhood years were so wrought with fear and the disappointment that it was never ‘safe’ to let go and feel joy. Letting your guard down and opened you up to being either emotionally or physically wounded. You may have taken on ancestral anxiety and fear even in the womb or you may have negative beliefs that were passed on through the generations. I get it, I really do, I experienced it, however, it’s possible to keep striving for the truth and the hope to experience life with more joy, in spite of the trauma of the past. That desire, need and action will lead you to find healing and ways to break free and to experience joy.

Are we always going to be feeling joy? Umm…. NO!!! There are times in life when we are experiencing challenges, when we are in a growth process or experiencing a plateau and we feel stuck. We lose our jobs, money isn’t coming in, we are looking after sick relatives, we are in pain, someone we love dies or leaves. We’ve had disappointment after disappointment. The list seems sometimes endless and we wonder sometimes where is God in all of this?  Even though life has its difficulties and challenges, it is still possible to have joy. And I don’t mean that kick up your heels and sing in the rain type of joy, although that is wonderful, YES! I mean that this joy can also be like you have inner peace, an inner knowing that even though you are going through difficult times, that they will pass, things will get better, you are not alone, God is with you, loving you through it all.

When going through difficult times, it is so easy to plummet into negative thinking and an important thing to do to bring back positive feelings is to find things to be grateful for and write them down.  It may be as simple as a pillow to put your head on and a blanket to keep you warm, a friend you can call or finding a dollar in your coat pocket. There is such a thing as a law of gratitude, the more you express gratitude, the more things to be grateful for, are attracted to you. The best you can do when things are bad is to find things to be grateful for, it works like a dream. There is much scientific research citing the benefits of gratitude including, increased life satisfaction, resiliency to health issues, and better sleep quality, in addition to lower levels of burnout, and reductions in stress, inflammation, and depression.

Here are a few questions to journal about and get you started on your journey of experiencing more joy. Take some time for yourself, maybe block out at least a half an hour or so. Put on some calming music and tune your mind into your heart’s space.

!. Find out and get to know what brings you joy.

Think of a time when you felt some of the above feelings of joy, make a list (if you can’t think of anything, then I want you to simply imagine how it would feel if you were in a joyful experience.

What were you doing?

Who were you with?

What about it brought joy?

Who were you when you were doing these things?

How did these feelings feel in your body? Where were they in your body? Describe them (such as warm, exciting, tingly, peaceful, in the zone, confident, thrilling. The color blue, yellow etc….

If you could give a metaphor description of who you were at this time, what would it be? (examples could be perhaps an animal, color, a specific character or person etc…)

How would you feel if you could do more of this?

How could those feelings inspire you in your life now?

2: Trust that doing what brings you joy is what you are meant to be doing.

How do you share it with others safely?

How could you be doing more of this in your work, free time, family time?

Make a vision board where you can either draw, paint, cut out pictures and paste them of all those things that bring you joy.

Put it up on the wall and look at it every day. Let it inspire you into creating more.

Be aware of the feelings doing this evokes in you, either negative or positive.

If all you feel is anxiety or negative feelings do EFT-Tapping to tap those negative feelings down to a zero. If they are overwhelming, it may be good to see a practitioner who can help you to discover what may be causing the overwhelm and to heal it.

Journal about it and ask God how those feelings can be used for further discovery, either about you or about others.

3: If you don’t know what brings you joy, you can find it.

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus tells us to, “Ask and it shall be given you, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you” (Matt 7:7). So do all of those things (ask, seek and knock) and never ever give up until you find what brings you joy. Keep trying new things and drop them if you don’t enjoy them and keep them and expand them if they do bring you joy.

If you are interested in discovering more of your joy, living the life you dreamed and to let go of anything that may be keeping you blocked from experiencing joy, send me an email. I give 20-minute complimentary strategy sessions. You deserve to be free and you deserve to experience joy!

With love,


06 Nov

EFT Mistakes

EFT is an invaluable technique to calm the freeze, flight, freeze response in the body.  If you are tapping on your own at home, you may want to read this list of common mistakes so you can get more out of your practice. It was created by Valerie Lis, MA, aka “The Tapping Teacher.” I want you to get exceptional results every time you tap. A few “mistakes” may be slowing you down. The purpose of this article is to help you understand these common errors. Correcting them will lead to breakthroughs in your self-work.

MISTAKE #1: EFT works on your memories and thoughts.
EFT does not work on your memories and thoughts. It works on the physical response associated with your memories and thoughts. If you have a fear of spiders, for example, there is a fight-or-flight (stress) response. Your heart rate increases, breathing accelerates, pupils dilate, and digestion stops. These symptoms occur when you think about a spider or get close to one. With tapping, there is a sudden shift from fight or flight to deep relaxation. As a result, your body’s automated response to spiders (conditioned link) is broken and the fear is permanently released. The memory, itself, remains the same. To resolve this mistake, ask before tapping: “Where do you feel this in your body?” This assures an accurate starting point to measure your progress. If you have a strong physical response, it usually means you are ready to tap. It also makes it easier to measure shifts as they occur.

MISTAKE #2: Emotional distress is to be avoided.
When working with EFT, emotional distress is beneficial. This is one of the hidden “secrets” in the world of tapping. When clients cry with me, I am honored and joyful. Tapping through tears produces a powerful release. It is exhilarating to connect and share this experience with my clients. On a scale from 1 to 10, 5-10 is the “sweet spot.” If your emotional distress is too high (i.e., higher than 10, or “out of control”), you may want to tap in silence. If you do not have emotional distress, or the level is too low, you may find it ineffective to tap. To resolve this mistake, simply focus on the emotional distress. And then tap it away.

MISTAKE #3: “Big” problems from long ago are more challenging to clear.
EFT is evidence-based for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), phobias, and generalized anxiety. This shows that EFT is effective on intense issues. Events, where there is no emotional distress, are actually more challenging to clear. You should, however, protect yourself. Rather than tapping on your own to clear your big issues, you may want to work with a qualified practitioner.

MISTAKE #4: You must find the “right” words.
This is one of the most common mistakes among new students of EFT. Tapping scripts and tap-alongs support the belief that you must find the right words. It is actually more important to be in your “feeling space.” For effective results with EFT, it is essential to be in your feeling space.

MISTAKE #5: You must always follow the “correct” procedure. This includes stating the Setup three times and calling out Reminder Phrases on the eight primary tapping points. Yes, it is important to know the correct procedures. At the same time, you should not be controlled by them. EFT is a forgiving process. In certain situations, steps can be skipped. The purpose of the Setup, for example, is to resolve Psychological Reversal. Reversals occur only 20% of the time and are associated with a lack of emotion. So, especially when emotions are high, you can eliminate the setup. In addition, individual tapping points can be skipped or missed. On occasion, Reminder Phrases can also be eliminated. Rather than blindly following rules for correctness, you could simply try to focus on the charge and tap the points.

MISTAKE #6: You must call out Reminder Phrases to stay focused on the memory or belief.
Rather than calling out Reminder Phrases to stay focused on the memory or belief, it is more important to stay in your feeling space. Overthinking, that is, being in your “head bubble,” is counterproductive and slows down the process. Calling out Reminder Phrases may cause you to move from your feeling space back to your head bubble. If it does, Reminder Phrases are a distraction. Especially with high emotional intensity, you may want to avoid Reminder Phrases and tap in silence.

MISTAKE #7: You must go through the entire “story” and know how to resolve the presenting issue before you begin tapping.
It is not always necessary to understand the story or the issue. I believe that the best practice is to begin tapping as soon as possible. EFT seems to increase intuition; memories appear exactly when they are needed. The simplest approach is to: (1) find the emotional charge, (2) tap, (3) evaluate, (4) find the emotional charge, (5) tap, (6) evaluate … and so on. Following this process often leads to enlightened, magical, “goose-bump” moments.

MISTAKE #8: Positives are to be avoided. Or, alternatively, positives are to be encouraged.
The use of negatives versus positives while tapping is a common topic for discussion. I believe it is more important to determine whether the words or phrases are charged. For example, if “I am ugly” makes you emotional, this is the correct phrase. If “I am beautiful” makes you emotional, this is the correct phrase.
I have found an interesting relationship between negative self-talk and charged positives. This may provide a clue on which form should be used. Anyway, it does not matter whether words are negative or positive. If you shift your focus to charged phrases, your tapping sessions will be more productive.
Many students of EFT like to repeat blocks of affirmations while tapping. Although this does not provide deep, transitional, permanent shifts, it can be a nice tool for relaxation.

MISTAKE #9: Since there is a benefit to tapping on your own, there is no need to work with a practitioner.
EFT is a self-tool, so it is worthwhile to tap on your own. If you work with a qualified practitioner, though, you will likely find that your results will improve.

MISTAKE #10: You need to be trained in EFT. Or, alternatively, there is no need to be trained in EFT.
Proficiency falls on a continuum. On one side are those who have never been trained. As a self-help tool, it is possible to get results on your own. These results, however, often come with limitations. Further up the spectrum are those who have been trained in the core curriculum. They get consistent results on self-work and on most issues when working with others. The highest level includes those who get consistent results on self-work and on most issues when working with others. Their results are also faster, deeper, and more complete than other EFT practitioners. 

Bonus Mistake #11 is the belief that all practitioners are the same. EFT is simply a tool and, unfortunately, not all practitioners are proficient in its use. Whether you tap on your own, work with a practitioner, or are a practitioner, I hope this article has helped you recognize common tapping mistakes. Understanding and correcting these errors will lead you to consistent, deeper results with EFT.

Valerie Lis, MA, aka “The Tapping Teacher,” Her upcoming book “Simplified EFT: How to Get Exceptional Results Every Time You Tap” includes dozens of new concepts and hundreds of innovative ideas.

09 May

Make Affirmations Effective Using EFT

Affirmations take a lot of perseverance and many people give up on them when they haven’t worked. With EFT, we have an effective tool that will help you get results from these affirmations. The most common reason that positive affirmations often don’t work is that we have negative subconscious beliefs that will undermine the affirmation you are making. Here’s an excerpted piece from an article by Gary Craig.

Gary talks about a woman who weighs 200 pounds and wants to weigh 130 pounds:

Her affirmation is:

“My normal weight is 130 pounds”

She believes that if she keeps repeating that affirmation she will change her mindset about her being 200 pounds. Unfortunately, after her affirmation, she may have one or more negative beliefs or doubts that pop up such as:

“But if I lose the weight, others will expect me to keep it off”

“But if I lose the weight I will have to spend a lot of money for new clothes”

“But if I lose the weight, men will hit on me and expect sex”

“But if I lose the weight, men won’t hit on me and then I will know that I’m not lovable”

“But if I lose the weight, I will have to give up my favorite foods”

This list can be endless. These are just examples. They are not spoken or articulated but are in her mind and she may not even be aware of some, if not all of them. They are the obstacles to losing weight. Can they be eventually overridden by the persistent use of the affirmation?  Probably. However, it’s a rare person who will keep up this persistence because they are not seeing any immediate results and they feel uncomfortable with the emotional discord that goes on between the affirmation and the competing negative belief. They often conclude that they are lying to themselves and just give up. As you can see the affirmation process usually needs help. It needs EFT to erase those limiting beliefs.

This brings us to one of the truly powerful aspects of affirmations, namely that once an affirmation is installed, it is not easily moved. It becomes a permanent part of your persona until you replace it. For instance, those limiting affirmations for our 200 pound woman have taken up residence within her system. They are entrenched. They have become her consistent thoughts, which of course have become her reality. They are stubborn and are not about to be easily “talked away” with an unaided new affirmation.  She sees herself as a 200 pound woman- and that’s it!  Her weight is a reflection of her existing limiting affirmations (the writing on her walls). The good news here is that once the new “130 pound affirmation” truly takes place, it becomes the new consistent thought and is just as obstinate as the previous “200 pound beliefs” which it replaced. To gain weight back would be inconsistent with the new consistent thoughts she has.

If we listen to ourselves talk, we will hear our “limits” and other forms of affirmations. Things like…..

“I can’t sing,” “Women can’t compete in a man’s world,” “I never seem to find the right words,” “I don’t fit in,” etc.

These affirmations keep us right where we are. Affirmations are powerful, very powerful. We are using them every minute of the day. They shape our lives because they reflect our beliefs and our attitudes. You are using them right now as you are reading this. You are consulting your existing affirmations to agree or disagree with what I am saying. Have you found yourself saying, “Yes, but……” while reading this? If so, you are affirming something, probably a limit.

Affirmations are highly reliable and do, indeed, manifest in people’s lives that which is affirmed.

There is no question that properly installed affirmations work very powerfully. The only trick here is to make sure that the affirmation that you really want is the true affirmation.

This is where EFT comes in. It serves as a highly effective eraser for all the negative emotions and beliefs. With the skillful use of EFT, each and every block of personal performance can be eliminated, thereby providing a clean wall on which to write our new consistent thoughts. Erase and replace.  The combination of EFT and affirmations allows us to completely re-engineer our systems. It allows us to erase our blocks and install our dreams.

Up until now, EFT has been a stand-alone eraser without any means to install dreams.  Affirmations, on the other hand, have been a stand-alone tool for installing dreams but without an eraser for the competing negative beliefs.

So let’s look at how to erase those negative beliefs. Some people are not even aware that they have these negative beliefs, they can be deeply embedded in their subconscious and they are so used to living with them. One way you can tell if you have a negative belief running is to check in with your body sensations.

Firstly, say your affirmation aloud. Then notice if you feel any tension, heaviness, tightness, fear or resistance when you say it. Perhaps you feel butterflies in your stomach, a headache, dread, nervousness, or shortness of breath.  If you do, you can be pretty sure you have one or more negative beliefs about the affirmation.  Ask yourself what that might be, if you get an answer, great. If not, you can still simply tap on the negative feeling in the body. Oftentimes once you start to tap, the belief and emotions connected to the feeling will come up. If it doesn’t, tapping on the sensation will still get results.

Look at whether you think you deserve what you are asking for. You may have deep-seated feelings of being undeserving or feelings that if you have success in achieving the affirmation, it will be unsafe for you. Even if you have these feelings, tapping persistently will help to diminish them and replace them with the positive affirmation.

Let’s look at the woman who wanted to lose the weight. Remember that with EFT we want to work on one specific issue at a time. Her first negative belief was:

“But if I lose the weight, others will expect me to keep it off”

She would check on how true that feeling is for her between 1 and 10, 1 being not very true at all and 10 being completely true. In EFT we want to tap on the negative beliefs, feelings, pain first until they rate at a 4 or below on the scale. Then we can add some positive re-framing statements or your affirmation and tap on those statements.

You have to go through each limiting belief before you feel free and positive enough to say your affirmation without any tension or fear.

Below is a Tapping Points chart showing the location of the tapping points. For this Tapping Exercise, you don’t have to tap the Liver Point.

The Tapping Sequence

Tap 5 to 7 times gently on each point with your fingertips (there are meridian energy points at the end of your fingers too!). Use your index and middle finger on your dominant hand or hands as you say each statement.

You can use both hands on the Top of the Head, Eye Brows, Side of the Eyes, Under the Eyes, Collar Bones and Under the Arms. You can switch from one hand to two, whatever feels comfortable. As long as you are tapping on the points, it really doesn’t matter if you are using one hand or two. It’s just as effective either way.

You can use your own statements; these are just some ideas for you to start with:

The woman who wants to lose the weight could tap something like this:

Round 1

Karate Chop Point (KC): “Even though others will expect me to keep the weight off and I don’t know that I can, I deeply and completely accept myself anyway

Even though I am sure everyone will expect me to keep the weight off, I’m open to not caring so much what others think

Even though I am too scared to have that much pressure put on me, I am open to accepting myself completely.”

Top of the Head (TH): They’ll expect me to stay slim

Eyebrow: (EB): It’s too much pressure

Side of The Eye (SE): I don’t want to let anyone down

Under the Eye (UE): It’s too much pressure

Under the Nose (UN): I might disappoint them

Under the Lip/Above chin (CP): I may disappoint myself

Collar Bone (CB): It’s too overwhelming

Under the Arm (UA): I don’t know how it’s even possible to lose that much

Wrist Point (WP): There’s too much expected of me

KC: I don’t want to disappoint


Round 2

TH: I don’t want to disappoint anyone

EB: It’s too much pressure

SE: I don’t want to care what they think

UE: They’ll have expectations

UN: They may put me down

CP: I might be rejected

CB: I’ve been this way for so long, I don’t know who I would be if I were different

UA: I might lose my friends (boyfriend etc)

WP: It’s too threatening

KC: But I’m tried of carrying around this weight

Round 3

TH: It’s too hard

EB: It’s too overwhelming

SE: It’s too much weight to lose

UE: I don’t have enough discipline

UN: Why bother?

CP: It’s too much stress to live up to others’ expectations

CB: I’m afraid if I lose it, I’ll put the weight it back on again

UA: Then I will disappoint everyone and be right back where I started

WP: Why even start?

KC: It’s seems too overwhelming

Round 4

TH: Maybe it’s possible

EB: After all it is my body and I want to feel good about my body

SE: I am open to choosing how I want to feel about my body

UE: I’m giving myself permission to not care what others think of me

UN: I’m giving myself permission to start respecting myself

CP: I’m open to loving myself and my body

CB: What if I could care more about what I think rather than what others think?

UA: What if I could value myself more?

WP: What if I could do this for me?

KC: What if I could feel safe losing weight?

Round 5

TH: What if I could try it a little every day?

EB: What if I could be consistent?

SE: What if I could have more respect for myself than caring what others think of me?

UE: I am open to feeling safe no matter what weight I am

UN: I am a good person no matter what weight I am

CP: I am choosing to value and respect myself

CB: I am choosing to have healthy expectations of myself

UA: What if it could have fun losing the extra pounds?

WP: Maybe I could look forward to all I can do, when I am slimmer

KC: Maybe I can look forward to feeling really great about myself and my health no matter what

KC: I am choosing to lose weight for my own health and my own sake

KC: I am choosing to feel safe losing weight for me

That was a quick 5 rounds. Now remember everyone is different. You may need to tap more on the negative beliefs before you start tapping in the positive. Make sure you tune in to your feelings, start trusting those feelings instead of your head (sometimes your mind will play tricks with you but your body holds the truth).

The end result for the woman losing the weight would be that she would want to feel that it isn’t so important to her what others think about her weight. Then she can cross that negative, limiting belief off her list and move on to the next or she may need to tap on it for a few days, if it is a deep ingrained belief. If she tested it, which we all need to do, she would ask herself how true is the statement:

“But if I lose the weight, others will expect me to keep it off” .

If it is at a 0 or a 1, you can be pretty sure it’s done but if it is still at a 3 or 4 more tapping is needing to be done.

Now say the affirmations again and see how true it feels for you?

You can use the above example to work with any affirmations. One of the things that I do is little affirmations so that it doesn’t feel too impossible or overwhelming a task for me. I just keep chipping away at it and adding more affirmations when I have achieved the first one and eventually I get success.

One other point I want to mention here is that as you are tapping, memories and many feelings may come up that are connected to those negative beliefs. For the woman wanting to lose the weight, it may be that family members or kids in school teased her about her weight. She may have been molested or felt physically threatened. Whenever you are tapping please be aware that sometimes deeply buried trauma may come up. I strongly suggest that you work with an experienced practitioner if there is something traumatic that does comes up for you. There is help out there for you and you shouldn’t have to be alone with it, you can get help and freedom. If very scary feelings do come up for you, just tap the scary feelings down,take deep breaths, telling yourself “everything is going to be okay,” which it will be, tapping will calm them. Look at it as an opportunity for you to heal unresolved trauma. Find a skilled, knowledgeable and compassionate professional who is trained in trauma therapy.

This was just an example of one affirmation. You can affirm anything, you can work on finances, relationships, confidence, business goals, health, golf scores, performance anxiety, you name it. Take this formula and tap away any negative or limiting beliefs you may have, using the above template.

Try using EFT with your affirmations and I wish you great success. Please email me if you have any questions at:


You can view Gary Craig’s website at: www.emofree.com

14 Aug

Follow Your Joy

There are many things I love to do in life and one of those at the top of my list is my work. Working with clients and helping them to heal and to reach their goals is one of my greatest joys. I am deeply grateful for all those who have helped me on my journey to be where I am in my career. I wish the same for you that you may also be doing the work you love.

Working for myself means I have to be pretty disciplined with where I put my time and energy. As much as I love my one on one sessions and workshops, the ‘business’ side can be a challenge to me. This ‘work’ never seems to end unless I put up boundaries for myself to create more balance.

I have found that when I give myself time to follow my other interests that I enjoy as well, I end up attracting more clients and wonderful opportunities come knocking at my door.

It’s all about energy and how I feel. The more we tap into our joy, our vibration is automatically lifted higher.  We are in a state of flow and good things are attracted to us. For me, it may be singing, dancing, exercising, reading and spending time with family and friends.

What is it that brings you joy, makes you feel great and is in alignment with your creativity? It may be something that you can create a career out of or use as an adjunct to your career. Remember not to judge as you let your heart rule in this exercise and let your imagination soar. Ask yourself some ‘What if” questions such as, “What if I could teach tennis (or whatever is your passion) this way I could get to play more,  help others get better at it and enjoy it more AND get paid at the same time!  Let your imagination have fun with it.

What brings you joy?

Here are some great questions to ask yourself about what brings you joy from Louise Gale http://louisegale.com/.

Write your answers down, meditate on them with an open mind and heart.  Be careful not to judge your answers just let them flow and make it fun, as if you were a kid again.

1. What activities make you feel happy and get you excited?

2. What are the feelings associated with those activities?  Remember you can have more than one activity that brings you joy.

3. Which of these activities do you lose track of time with?  When we are truly doing what we love, we forget about time. We are in the ‘zone’.

4. Would you do it for free?  If you had enough money to live on comfortably for the rest of your life, which of these activities would you choose to spend your time on?

5. What are your favorite things to talk about with others when given the chance? We get excited when we are passionate about something. If you are not sure what that might be, why not ask those around you what you get really passionate about. You might be surprised.

6. Last but not least, if you had a magic wand, and no constraints at all, what would you love to be doing every day that makes you feel great inside? Maybe you are closer than you think!

I’ve always believed that anything is possible. All you have to do is dream it, believe it and put the action steps in to achieve it. Any resistance or procrastination to achieving your goals we just tap on (do EFT, Emotional Freedom Techniques) to move through and release. You are worth achieving your goals and being happy!






11 Jun

Beliefs are Passed Down Through the Generations.

Photo credit: Sebastián León Prado on Unsplash


Everything we experience in life is filtered through our beliefs about ourselves.

It seems simple to say, “if I could just change how I feel about myself then everything will fall into place and I will achieve my dreams.”

Easier said then done, right?. We know that you can say affirmations ad infinitum and yet you still may not be making the money you wanted, or have found that perfect relationship, job or career. You’re still procrastinating and still walking around in fear with stress and anxiety.

Remember that your subconscious is running 95% of your life. You can’t change those subconscious beliefs by working hard, saying affirmations or by getting success coaching. These things can definitely help but if they are not working, it is an indication that you still have negative beliefs and/or trapped trauma that stops you from moving forward out of fear.  If there are parts of you that feel it is not safe to reach your goals, they are going to stop you in any way they can or if you achieve your goals somehow, they may come in and sabotage you. Don’t stop saying those affirmations but you must at the same time heal the trauma and let go of those accompanying limiting beliefs.

Where do these beliefs come from?

We create beliefs about ourselves from experiences which we have had during our lives and the lies we believed about life and ourselves when a traumatic event occurred.  In order to survive (and we are all about survival), our subconscious creates a belief to keep us safe. The belief is usually ‘not true’ but it remains in our subconscious and running the rest of our life. If we do not transform it, it will continue to run our lives, causing us all kinds of problems.

We also absorb beliefs that our parents and ancestors have unwittingly passed on. A child’s brain, between the ages of 0 to 3 years of age, functions at the Delta frequency. Between the ages of 4-7, the child’s brain functions predominantly at the Theta frequency.
 This means that from childbirth (or even in the womb) to the age of 7, your brain registered things at an “hypnotic” level and drove them deep into your subconscious mind. Those formative years created the foundation for how you will react to the outside world for the rest of your life, unless you learn to change the programming at the subconscious level.


As we only have Theta, Delta and Alpha brain waves up until the age of 7 years, we are in an hypnotic state. What we experience and witness from early childhood we believe to be true.  After all our parents are our gods to us when we are children, our survival is completely in their hands, why wouldn’t we believe them, we don’t know anything different and we don’t have a choice.

Much of the learning we received from our nuclear family and our ancestors get passed on automatically and we believe them to be true. These can affect our choices for the rest of our lives if we don’t take care of them at the subconscious and cellular level.
Our lives and our experiences and challenges have profound importance, they can form our identity and can affect who we become in this life. We all experience trauma of some kind and have obstacles to overcome and grow from.  They are our own particular and unique school of life and profoundly connected to our purpose.   These traumas and lessons are the basis of how we are going to ‘give back’ with the wisdom we have gained through working through our challenges.

How do we grow from these negative beliefs and traumas?

By  healing the beliefs we learned. Some of the techniques I have found to be helpful and transforming are EFT and Matrix Reimprinting,  Destiny Coaching, Internal Family Systems and the Grief Recovery Method. If the client is open I also bring in a way they feel a loving connection to the Divine. Oftentimes trauma can cause a feeling or belief that we are alone in the world, or that we are unloved, or unlovable. Having the deep understanding that there is a kind and benevolent Higher Power who loves us deeply and will never abandon us and is within us all, can be healing in and of itself.  Many people have been wounded by religion and are angry at God and so we can even address these issues or put them on the back burner and work in a very clinical way.  Everyone’s needs are different and respected.  I am astounded sometimes with the profound learning I have received about my life.  Each memory I went back to that was traumatic, I am now able to see differently with gratitude and forgiveness. I see how if I didn’t have these experiences then I wouldn’t be doing what I am doing now.  I realize the value of these experiences in my life’s journey.

“ Don’t turn away, keep your gaze on the bandaged places. That is where the light enters you” ~ Rumi

Even though we may be victims as children, subconsciously we can carry that belief throughout our lives even though the abuse happened many years ago. It can run your life behind the scenes and sabotage golden opportunities and friendships. You can be free and get to choose what you want to walk away from and not because of fear.

At this momentous time in the world, we are beginning to understand the harmful effects of trauma on the body, mind and spirit but we can also experience the power of God’s love, the power of our hearts, minds and souls to heal.  We have the opportunity to break the negative belief patterns that have been passed down through our ancestors with the techniques I have learned.  Our parents were the wounded children of their parents and so on. This is miraculous and transforming. This is going to help change the world for the better one heart, one soul at a time.

If you are interested in breaking the ancestral wounding and negative beliefs and trauma that has been passed on through to your generation and perhaps to your children and getting free, please email me at info@gailmae.com for more information.

Love from,