09 Apr

7 Ways to feel Healthier and Happier!

I believe for us to be healthy and happier, it takes a combination of being aware and consciously working with three parts of our system, our mind, body, and spirit. Here are some of the things that I have found helpful over the years to keep me healthy and what gives me peace of mind, joy, purpose, and fulfillment. It’s a journey and I am learning new things all the time.

  1. Be Active

I’m a big believer in being active and exercising, whether you’re going to the gym, playing a sport, dancing, hiking, swimming, walking and jogging, whatever it is that you enjoy doing. There are so many benefits to being active and here are just a few:

  • Increased blood flow It’s crucial for good health. Your heart pumps about 5 quarts of blood through your body’s system of blood vessels each minute and delivers oxygen to help eliminate waste. When circulation is poor, your blood doesn’t flow as vigorously and symptoms can include numbness in your fingers and toes, fluid retention, bloating and lack of energy.
  • Increased brain sensitivity – for the hormones serotonin and norepinephrine, which relieve feelings of depression, making you feel happier.
  • Reduces anxiety.
  • Maintains and builds strong muscles and bones – which are going to allow you to have more strength and flexibility to do all the things you want to achieve.
  • Increased energy.
  • Helps you to focus better by increasing blood flow to the brain – keeps you aware with less brain fog, increasing memory and thinking skills. Causes the hippocampus (vital for memory and learning) to grow in size.
  • Helps to keep your weight down.
  • Reduces the risk of chronic disease.
  • Reduces changes in the brain that can cause Alzheimer’s disease and schizophrenia.
  • Helps you relax and sleep better.
  • Reduces pain.

2. Take care of your Emotional Life

I know that my emotional health is a daily discipline I cannot neglect. It’s like going to the gym or brushing my teeth, an everyday thing. Many of us grew up in homes that repressed emotions, we didn’t learn healthy ways of expressing them or weren’t allowed to express them. They became deeply buried and only explode out in the worst of times when we get triggered and can’t hold them in any longer or we manage to continue to hold them in which causes all kinds of physical, mental and emotional problems. This is a big part my work, helping people break free of those stuck and buried emotions.

If we don’t acknowledge, witness and heal the trauma in our life (no matter how big or small), it can cause problems in our careers, in the quality of our relationships, chronic diseases, depression, and Alzheimer’s. If you are struggling with doing this on your own, seek help in finding out what your core beliefs are about yourself that are held in your subconscious and how to change them if needed. Your deeply held core beliefs affect your emotions and your reactions to everything.

95% of our life is run by our subconscious, we can ’will’ things to happen just so much before the subconscious takes over and we start repeating negative programming. Once these are healed, your subconscious will be able to accept and believe positive affirmations which will help you be able to create your ideal life.

3. Develop and use your mind by:

  • Reading books and perhaps attend a book club
  • Writing and doing research, attend a writing course
  • Taking college courses or any other type of course
  • Crossword puzzles (those that stretch your mind), chess and mind games
  • Learn another language or a musical instrument
  • Eat a healthy diet (more on diet below).
  • Teach a skill to others
  • Listening to others – as we become more interested in others, we not only learn a lot but it develops parts of our brain
  • Learn a new hobby or skill
  • Write things down–longhand. Research has shown that writing down new information longhand helps you integrate it more thoroughly and recall it more easily.
  • Stop smoking. Researchers have found evidence that smoking impedes cognitive function and may even shrink the size of your brain’s hippocampus. It can decrease abilities related to memory, planning, and overall mental ability.
  • Get plenty of sleep
  • Listening to certain music
  • Spirituality and faith practices such as contemplation, prayer, and meditation. As Andrew Newberg, director of research at the Jefferson Myrna Brind Center of Integrative Medicine at Thomas Jefferson University and Hospital and author of the book, “How God Changes Your Brain”, says “As you grow spiritually, as you change your beliefs, as you enhance your sense of compassion, for instance, this affects the brain. If you practice prayer a lot, for example, data shows that these practices actually change your brain over time. Specifically increased activity in the frontal lobes (one of the areas in the brain involved with compassion and positive emotions.

4. Spirituality and Sense of Purpose

Your spirituality is connected to your mind, your body and your emotions. When we are seeking happiness only from our own worldly experience, we are going to come up short because, well, we only have our experience to rely on and for many of us, that might not be enough to feel safe, loved and accepted. Also as much as there are great people around to learn from, they don’t have the unique and specific perspective and connection with Source that you have. God wants to have a relationship with us but we have to seek it and want it also. In “Psychology Today” Ryan T. Howell Ph.D. says that spiritual people are gracious, optimistic, compassionate, savor life experiences, flourish, and self-actualize.

Connecting to God will help you to discover your purpose. Having a strong sense of your purpose gives you the strength to get through difficult times because you know that those times give you the learning and inner strength that makes you grow in character. A new study from Northwestern University finds that people who know their purpose also have the benefit of sleeping better at night. Having a purpose outside yourself is good not only for your mental health, it’s also good for your physical health, longevity and even your genes. Those with a greater sense of purpose, no matter what age or education level, scored better on tests of memory, executive and cognitive functions than people with less purpose.

5. Be Grateful

No matter how difficult and challenging things are in your life, there is always something to be grateful for, whether it is a roof over your head or a friend you can rely on or a pillow to put your head on at night. When we cultivate gratitude, we increase our well-being and happiness. In addition, gratitude—and especially expressing it to others—is associated with increased energy, optimism, and empathy. If we look at it from an energetic point of view it raises your vibrational energy.

6. Give Back

As Alice G. Walton writes in Forbes magazine, “Most philosophies and religions, include a strong sense of giving back to the world.. Not only does it have the obvious benefit of helping others, but it’s apparently one of the most therapeutic things we can do for ourselves. Mahatma Gandhi said, “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” When we do this, we get to see how our problems are not so big in the grand scheme of things and that others have suffered deeply also. When we share each other’s burdens they become lighter!

7. Eat a Healthy Diet

Eating a healthy diet helps you on multiple levels, mind, body, and spirit. I’m not going to take much time here talking about diet as this could be a whole blog in and of itself. I remember years ago I found myself in the hospital having all sorts of tests for my heart as I was having dizzy spells and feeling like I was going to faint. After spending 3 or 4 days in the hospital, reading a novel and getting lots of rest in between tests, I realized I was only suffering from stress. The tests came out perfectly normal but I knew I needed to take better care of myself. I had been putting myself last on the list. I went to a naturopath and changed my diet big time. I had to be very strict and I took a lot of specific vitamins and supplements. It was incredible the change I felt in my energy levels, my mood, my sense of being able to affect change in my life and in my confidence. I’m not so strict anymore but I try very hard to stay as healthy as possible, it is so worth it! My prayer for you is that you can add some of these ideas into your life so you can feel happier and healthier and make a positive difference in your life!

Love,

 

 

 

Photo credits:

Top Photo: Zachary Nelson on Unsplash

Chess:  rawpixel.com on Unsplash

Vegetables:  Alexandr Podvalny on Unsplash

Some Sources:

Sleep and Purpose Study:

Is purpose in life associated with less sleep disturbance in older adults

https://sleep.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s41606-017-0015-6

Purpose in life and cognitive functioning in adulthood

https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/13825585.2016.1251549

18 Mar

Feel more Calm with Deep Breathing and Stimulating the Vagus Nerve

                                                                                   Photo credit – Amanda Hirsch/Flickr

 

Stimulating the vagus nerve is important as it reduces stress, anxiety, anger and inflammation by activating the relaxation response of our parasympathetic nervous system. Deep slow diaphragmatic breathing stimulates the nerve and lowers stress responses associated with the “fight or flight” mechanisms in the body. This deep breathing also improves heart rate variability (HRV) which is the measurement of variations within beat-to-beat intervals of the heart.

I started thinking again about the vagus nerve when my Pilates teacher, Robin Powell, reminded me to think about the vagus nerve while I was doing my Pilates exercises in class. Just taking my mind’s attention towards the nerve and off the fact I was doing the difficult teaser exercises was huge in helping me do the exercises more calmly, to breathe more deeply and rhythmically and consequently all my exercises became better and more controlled. It made doing the exercises easier and I felt stronger.

Many people are suffering with intense anxiety and it is very difficult for them to take deep breaths. This is where EFT can be so effective to help the mind/body to relax enough to even begin to take those deep breaths.  An experiment you can do to see how deeply you are able to breathe is to tap on the EFT meridian points for a few rounds while checking on the depth of your breath, as you keep tapping and checking on the capacity of your lungs to take in air in a relaxed way, you will find you can take deeper and deeper breaths. To learn more about what Gary Craig calls the Constricted Breathing EFT Technique, you can click on this link to the page on his website:

https://www.emofree.com/eft-tutorial/tapping-basics/breathing.html

More about the Vagus Nerve

The vagus nerve runs from the brain stem and travels all the way down into the belly, spreading fibers to the tongue, pharynx, vocal chords, lungs, heart, stomach, intestines. It also connects to glands that produce anti-stress enzymes and hormones like Acetylcholine, Prolactin, Vasopressin, Oxytocin. These hormones influence digestion, metabolism, and naturally, the relaxation response. The vagus nerve is the most important element of the parasympathetic nervous system. It’s the one that calms you down by reducing your heart rate, blood pressure and controlling your relaxation response.

As you become mindful of your vagus nerve throughout your body and to take deep breaths, notice whether it helps you to feel more calm.

Start taking deep breaths by inhaling into your belly and expanding your diaphragm, while counting to five. Then very slowly exhale while puckering your lips. To get into a vagus-nerve stimulation mode, try reducing the number of breaths from the usual 10-14 per minute to 5-7 per minute. Don’t forget that if this is really hard for you to do you can do EFT-Tapping first so that you can be relaxed enough. Studies have shown that practicing 10 minutes a day of tapping and deep breathing is enough for you to notice you’re relaxing yourself. The key is diligence! Without forcing it, gradually work on reducing the number of breaths per minute. The whole point is feeling more relaxed. It will also help you to start to be mindful of when you notice yourself in that ‘fight or flight’ place and to take some deep breaths and slow down to be able to take better care of yourself.

Love,

 

 

 

Sources:

Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-athletes-way/201705/diaphragmatic-breathing-exercises-and-your-vagus-nerve

http://www.businessinsider.com/vagus-nerve-stimulation-2015-6

Vagus Nerve

Liz Newman: http://liznewmanacupuncture.com/2015/09/

Image of  Parasympathetic Innervation
ImageSource: intranet.tdmu.edu.ua

05 Mar

Joy – What part does it play in our lives?


Photo Credit: Tom Scott

I did an experiment recently where I took all the issues that my clients had in the last 2 years and I did a graph. One of the highest rated issues that showed up was that they wanted to experience more joy in their lives.

I believe that we all are meant to be experiencing joy and that is something that God wants for us too! God imparts certain longings and passions in our heart for a reason. They align us with our purpose and our destiny. God is in our joy!

He is speaking to us all the time but we have to go inside to hear him, to dim the noise of the outside world. He is that small still voice which we have to develop by spending time with him. Sometimes God speaks to us in dreams, in our waking experiences, or in a prompting to call someone, or in a person we meet. You can’t imagine the goings on in the spiritual realm! He is working in our lives all the time and more especially when we choose to look to him, so keep your eyes and ears attuned to all the messages He’s sending your way. He wants you to be in joy, He wants you to be living with a divinely inspired freedom. He wants to co-create life, your joyful life, with you!

Here’s the dictionary meaning of joy: a feeling of great pleasure and happiness.”tears of joy” – delight, great pleasure, joyfulness, jubilation, triumph, exultation, rejoicing, happiness, gladness, glee, exhilaration, exuberance, elation, euphoria, bliss, ecstasy, rapture.

Here’s the antonym: misery

I think we would all like to be feeling joy rather than misery. Unfortunately many are living a life frustrated that they  can’t feel joy. We all deserve to be happy, though many have never known how that feels. If you have never felt joy or any of those feelings that are synonymous with joy, it may mean that you need more healing to take place before you can even access the positive aspects of who you are. There may be are parts of you crying out to be seen, heard, witnessed and acknowledged for the pain you went through. For some, the childhood years were so wrought with fear and the disappointment that it was never ‘safe’ to let go and feel joy. Letting your guard down and going to that place opened you up to being either emotionally or physically wounded. You may have taken on mom’s anxiety and fear even in the womb or you may have negative beliefs that were passed on through the generations. I get it, I really do, I experienced it, however there was always something in me that kept me striving for the truth and the hope to experience life with more joy, in spite of the trauma of the past. That desire and need lead to years of healing and research into what worked and what didn’t to break free and to experience joy.

Are we always going to be feeling joy? Umm…. NO!!! There are times in life when we are experiencing challenges, when we are in a growth process, when we are in a plateau and nothing seems to work. We lose our jobs, money isn’t coming in, we are looking after sick relatives, we are in pain, someone we love dies or leaves. We’ve had disappointment after disappointment. The list seems sometimes endless and we wonder sometimes where is God in all of this?  Even though life has its difficulties and challenges, it is still possible to have joy. And i don’t mean that kick up your heels and sing in the rain type of joy, although that is wonderful, YES! I mean that this joy can also be like you have an inner peace, an inner knowing that even though you are going through difficult times, that they will pass, things will get better, you are not alone, God is with you, loving you through it all.

When I go through difficult times, it is so easy to plummet into negative thinking and an important thing I always do to bring me back to feeling positive, is find things I am grateful for and I write them down.  It may be as simple as a pillow to put my head on and a blanket to keep me warm, a puppy I get to pat on the street, a smile from someone. The other day I saw a Forsythia tree in bloom and the first crocuses of Spring had opened. Every year I get the greatest joy to see these first flowers, every year we get to witness this miracle of life that I will never get tired of.

Here’s a few questions to journal about and get you started on your journey of experiencing more joy. Take some time for yourself, maybe block out at least a half an hour or so. Put on some calming music and tune your mind into your heart’s space.

!. Find out and get to know what brings you joy.

Think of a time when you felt some of the above feelings of joy, make a list (if you can’t think of anything, then I want you to simply imagine how it would feel if you were in a joyful experience.

What were you doing?

Who were you with?

What about it brought joy?

Who were you when you were doing these things?

How did these feelings feel in your body? Where were they in your body? Describe them (such as warm, exciting, tingly, peaceful, in the zone, confident, thrilling. The color blue, yellow etc….

If you could give a metaphor description of who you were at this time, what would it be? (examples could be perhaps an animal, color, a specific character or person etc…)

How would you feel if you could do more of this?

How could those feelings inspire you in your life now?

2: Trust that doing what brings you joy is what you are meant to be doing.

How do you share it with others safely?

How could you be doing more of this in your work, free time, family time?

Make a vision board where you can either draw, paint, cut out pictures and paste them of all those things that bring you joy.

Put it up on the wall and look at it everyday. Let it inspire you into creating more.

Be aware of the feelings doing this evokes in you, either negative or positive.

If all you feel is anxiety or negative feelings do EFT-Tapping to tap those negative feelings down. If they are overwhelming, it may be good to see a practitioner who can help you to discover what may be blocking you and to heal it.

Journal about it and ask God how those feelings can be used for further discovery, either about you or about others.

3: If you don’t know what brings you joy, you can find it.

In the sermon on the mount Jesus tells us to, “Ask and it shall be given you, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you” (Matt 7:7). So do all of those things (ask, seek and knock) and never ever give up until you find what brings you joy. Keep trying new things and drop them if you don’t enjoy them and keep them and expand them if they do bring you joy.

Recently I took a Zumba class at my gym. This class is  by no stretch of the imagination boring. It is great fun, there is fabulous music, I get to move my body in ways that remind me of my former dancer glory. When I danced I felt joy in moving my body, pushing it to its limits, being inspired by the music and in being able to share my gift with others. The teacher,  by sharing his joy and choreography, inspires me and all the others in class. The class makes me come alive and has given me a boost of confidence to experience this aspect of myself again. This same joy is expressed in a different way when I work with my clients and I see them break free of limiting beliefs.

It has always been so important to me my whole life to do what I loved and what brought me joy, I believe it is connected to our purpose and destiny. So this is me exhorting you to find your joy, what floats your boat, what gets you pumped, what lights your fire. We need more passionate, on fire with life and joyful people in this world. When we are living our joy we are too happy to oppress others, or to be depressed right? This is why it is so important for everyone to be in this joyful place with God. When we are experiencing joy, it is catching and we automatically make the world a better place.

If you are interested in discovering more of your joy, and living the life you dreamed and to let go of anything that may be keeping you trapped, send me an email. I give 20 minute complimentary strategy sessions. You deserve to be free and you deserve to experience joy!

With love,

 

06 Nov

EFT Mistakes

EFT is an invaluable technique to calm the freeze, flight, freeze response in the body.  If you are tapping on your own at home, you may want to read this list of common mistakes so you can get more out of your practice. It was created by Valerie Lis, MA, aka “The Tapping Teacher.” I want you to get exceptional results every time you tap. A few “mistakes” may be slowing you down. The purpose of this article is to help you understand these common errors. Correcting them will lead to breakthroughs in your self-work.

MISTAKE #1: EFT works on your memories and thoughts.
EFT does not work on your memories and thoughts. It works on the physical response associated with your memories and thoughts. If you have a fear of spiders, for example, there is a fight-or-flight (stress) response. Your heart rate increases, breathing accelerates, pupils dilate, and digestion stops. These symptoms occur when you think about a spider or get close to one. With tapping, there is a sudden shift from fight or flight to deep relaxation. As a result, your body’s automated response to spiders (conditioned link) is broken and the fear is permanently released. The memory, itself, remains the same. To resolve this mistake, ask before tapping: “Where do you feel this in your body?” This assures an accurate starting point to measure your progress. If you have a strong physical response, it usually means you are ready to tap. It also makes it easier to measure shifts as they occur.

MISTAKE #2: Emotional distress is to be avoided.
When working with EFT, emotional distress is beneficial. This is one of the hidden “secrets” in the world of tapping. When clients cry with me, I am honored and joyful. Tapping through tears produces a powerful release. It is exhilarating to connect and share this experience with my clients. On a scale from 1 to 10, 5-10 is the “sweet spot.” If your emotional distress is too high (i.e., higher than 10, or “out of control”), you may want to tap in silence. If you do not have emotional distress, or the level is too low, you may find it ineffective to tap. To resolve this mistake, simply focus on the emotional distress. And then tap it away.

MISTAKE #3: “Big” problems from long ago are more challenging to clear.
EFT is evidence-based for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), phobias, and generalized anxiety. This shows that EFT is effective on intense issues. Events, where there is no emotional distress, are actually more challenging to clear. You should, however, protect yourself. Rather than tapping on your own to clear your big issues, you may want to work with a qualified practitioner.

MISTAKE #4: You must find the “right” words.
This is one of the most common mistakes among new students of EFT. Tapping scripts and tap-alongs support the belief that you must find the right words. It is actually more important to be in your “feeling space.” For effective results with EFT, it is essential to be in your feeling space.

MISTAKE #5: You must always follow the “correct” procedure. This includes stating the Setup three times and calling out Reminder Phrases on the eight primary tapping points. Yes, it is important to know the correct procedures. At the same time, you should not be controlled by them. EFT is a forgiving process. In certain situations, steps can be skipped. The purpose of the Setup, for example, is to resolve Psychological Reversal. Reversals occur only 20% of the time and are associated with a lack of emotion. So, especially when emotions are high, you can eliminate the setup. In addition, individual tapping points can be skipped or missed. On occasion, Reminder Phrases can also be eliminated. Rather than blindly following rules for correctness, you could simply try to focus on the charge and tap the points.

MISTAKE #6: You must call out Reminder Phrases to stay focused on the memory or belief.
Rather than calling out Reminder Phrases to stay focused on the memory or belief, it is more important to stay in your feeling space. Overthinking, that is, being in your “head bubble,” is counterproductive and slows down the process. Calling out Reminder Phrases may cause you to move from your feeling space back to your head bubble. If it does, Reminder Phrases are a distraction. Especially with high emotional intensity, you may want to avoid Reminder Phrases and tap in silence.

MISTAKE #7: You must go through the entire “story” and know how to resolve the presenting issue before you begin tapping.
It is not always necessary to understand the story or the issue. I believe that the best practice is to begin tapping as soon as possible. EFT seems to increase intuition; memories appear exactly when they are needed. The simplest approach is to: (1) find the emotional charge, (2) tap, (3) evaluate, (4) find the emotional charge, (5) tap, (6) evaluate … and so on. Following this process often leads to enlightened, magical, “goose-bump” moments.

MISTAKE #8: Positives are to be avoided. Or, alternatively, positives are to be encouraged.
The use of negatives versus positives while tapping is a common topic for discussion. I believe it is more important to determine whether the words or phrases are charged. For example, if “I am ugly” makes you emotional, this is the correct phrase. If “I am beautiful” makes you emotional, this is the correct phrase.
I have found an interesting relationship between negative self-talk and charged positives. This may provide a clue on which form should be used. Anyway, it does not matter whether words are negative or positive. If you shift your focus to charged phrases, your tapping sessions will be more productive.
Many students of EFT like to repeat blocks of affirmations while tapping. Although this does not provide deep, transitional, permanent shifts, it can be a nice tool for relaxation.

MISTAKE #9: Since there is a benefit to tapping on your own, there is no need to work with a practitioner.
EFT is a self-tool, so it is worthwhile to tap on your own. If you work with a qualified practitioner, though, you will likely find that your results will improve.

MISTAKE #10: You need to be trained in EFT. Or, alternatively, there is no need to be trained in EFT.
Proficiency falls on a continuum. On one side are those who have never been trained. As a self-help tool, it is possible to get results on your own. These results, however, often come with limitations. Further up the spectrum are those who have been trained in the core curriculum. They get consistent results on self-work and on most issues when working with others. The highest level includes those who get consistent results on self-work and on most issues when working with others. Their results are also faster, deeper, and more complete than other EFT practitioners. 

Bonus Mistake #11 is the belief that all practitioners are the same. EFT is simply a tool and, unfortunately, not all practitioners are proficient in its use. Whether you tap on your own, work with a practitioner, or are a practitioner, I hope this article has helped you recognize common tapping mistakes. Understanding and correcting these errors will lead you to consistent, deeper results with EFT.

Valerie Lis, MA, aka “The Tapping Teacher,” Her upcoming book “Simplified EFT: How to Get Exceptional Results Every Time You Tap” includes dozens of new concepts and hundreds of innovative ideas.

09 May

Make Affirmations Effective Using EFT

Affirmations take a lot of perseverance and many people give up on them when they haven’t worked. With EFT, we have an effective tool that will help you get results from these affirmations. The most common reason that positive affirmations often don’t work is that we have negative subconscious beliefs that will undermine the affirmation you are making. Here’s an excerpted piece from an article by Gary Craig.

Gary talks about a woman who weighs 200 pounds and wants to weigh 130 pounds:

Her affirmation is:

“My normal weight is 130 pounds”

She believes that if she keeps repeating that affirmation she will change her mindset about her being 200 pounds. Unfortunately, after her affirmation, she may have one or more negative beliefs or doubts that pop up such as:

“But if I lose the weight, others will expect me to keep it off”

“But if I lose the weight I will have to spend a lot of money for new clothes”

“But if I lose the weight, men will hit on me and expect sex”

“But if I lose the weight, men won’t hit on me and then I will know that I’m not lovable”

“But if I lose the weight, I will have to give up my favorite foods”

This list can be endless. These are just examples. They are not spoken or articulated but are in her mind and she may not even be aware of some, if not all of them. They are the obstacles to losing weight. Can they be eventually overridden by the persistent use of the affirmation?  Probably. However, it’s a rare person who will keep up this persistence because they are not seeing any immediate results and they feel uncomfortable with the emotional discord that goes on between the affirmation and the competing negative belief. They often conclude that they are lying to themselves and just give up. As you can see the affirmation process usually needs help. It needs EFT to erase those limiting beliefs.

This brings us to one of the truly powerful aspects of affirmations, namely that once an affirmation is installed, it is not easily moved. It becomes a permanent part of your persona until you replace it. For instance, those limiting affirmations for our 200 pound woman have taken up residence within her system. They are entrenched. They have become her consistent thoughts, which of course have become her reality. They are stubborn and are not about to be easily “talked away” with an unaided new affirmation.  She sees herself as a 200 pound woman- and that’s it!  Her weight is a reflection of her existing limiting affirmations (the writing on her walls). The good news here is that once the new “130 pound affirmation” truly takes place, it becomes the new consistent thought and is just as obstinate as the previous “200 pound beliefs” which it replaced. To gain weight back would be inconsistent with the new consistent thoughts she has.

If we listen to ourselves talk, we will hear our “limits” and other forms of affirmations. Things like…..

“I can’t sing,” “Women can’t compete in a man’s world,” “I never seem to find the right words,” “I don’t fit in,” etc.

These affirmations keep us right where we are. Affirmations are powerful, very powerful. We are using them every minute of the day. They shape our lives because they reflect our beliefs and our attitudes. You are using them right now as you are reading this. You are consulting your existing affirmations to agree or disagree with what I am saying. Have you found yourself saying, “Yes, but……” while reading this? If so, you are affirming something, probably a limit.

Affirmations are highly reliable and do, indeed, manifest in people’s lives that which is affirmed.

There is no question that properly installed affirmations work very powerfully. The only trick here is to make sure that the affirmation that you really want is the true affirmation.

This is where EFT comes in. It serves as a highly effective eraser for all the negative emotions and beliefs. With the skillful use of EFT, each and every block of personal performance can be eliminated, thereby providing a clean wall on which to write our new consistent thoughts. Erase and replace.  The combination of EFT and affirmations allows us to completely re-engineer our systems. It allows us to erase our blocks and install our dreams.

Up until now, EFT has been a stand-alone eraser without any means to install dreams.  Affirmations, on the other hand, have been a stand-alone tool for installing dreams but without an eraser for the competing negative beliefs.

So let’s look at how to erase those negative beliefs. Some people are not even aware that they have these negative beliefs, they can be deeply embedded in their subconscious and they are so used to living with them. One way you can tell if you have a negative belief running is to check in with your body sensations.

Firstly, say your affirmation aloud. Then notice if you feel any tension, heaviness, tightness, fear or resistance when you say it. Perhaps you feel butterflies in your stomach, a headache, dread, nervousness, or shortness of breath.  If you do, you can be pretty sure you have one or more negative beliefs about the affirmation.  Ask yourself what that might be, if you get an answer, great. If not, you can still simply tap on the negative feeling in the body. Oftentimes once you start to tap, the belief and emotions connected to the feeling will come up. If it doesn’t, tapping on the sensation will still get results.

Look at whether you think you deserve what you are asking for. You may have deep-seated feelings of being undeserving or feelings that if you have success in achieving the affirmation, it will be unsafe for you. Even if you have these feelings, tapping persistently will help to diminish them and replace them with the positive affirmation.

Let’s look at the woman who wanted to lose the weight. Remember that with EFT we want to work on one specific issue at a time. Her first negative belief was:

“But if I lose the weight, others will expect me to keep it off”

She would check on how true that feeling is for her between 1 and 10, 1 being not very true at all and 10 being completely true. In EFT we want to tap on the negative beliefs, feelings, pain first until they rate at a 4 or below on the scale. Then we can add some positive re-framing statements or your affirmation and tap on those statements.

You have to go through each limiting belief before you feel free and positive enough to say your affirmation without any tension or fear.

Below is a Tapping Points chart showing the location of the tapping points. For this Tapping Exercise, you don’t have to tap the Liver Point.

The Tapping Sequence

Tap 5 to 7 times gently on each point with your fingertips (there are meridian energy points at the end of your fingers too!). Use your index and middle finger on your dominant hand or hands as you say each statement.

You can use both hands on the Top of the Head, Eye Brows, Side of the Eyes, Under the Eyes, Collar Bones and Under the Arms. You can switch from one hand to two, whatever feels comfortable. As long as you are tapping on the points, it really doesn’t matter if you are using one hand or two. It’s just as effective either way.

You can use your own statements; these are just some ideas for you to start with:

The woman who wants to lose the weight could tap something like this:

Round 1

Karate Chop Point (KC): “Even though others will expect me to keep the weight off and I don’t know that I can, I deeply and completely accept myself anyway

Even though I am sure everyone will expect me to keep the weight off, I’m open to not caring so much what others think

Even though I am too scared to have that much pressure put on me, I am open to accepting myself completely.”

Top of the Head (TH): They’ll expect me to stay slim

Eyebrow: (EB): It’s too much pressure

Side of The Eye (SE): I don’t want to let anyone down

Under the Eye (UE): It’s too much pressure

Under the Nose (UN): I might disappoint them

Under the Lip/Above chin (CP): I may disappoint myself

Collar Bone (CB): It’s too overwhelming

Under the Arm (UA): I don’t know how it’s even possible to lose that much

Wrist Point (WP): There’s too much expected of me

KC: I don’t want to disappoint

 

Round 2

TH: I don’t want to disappoint anyone

EB: It’s too much pressure

SE: I don’t want to care what they think

UE: They’ll have expectations

UN: They may put me down

CP: I might be rejected

CB: I’ve been this way for so long, I don’t know who I would be if I were different

UA: I might lose my friends (boyfriend etc)

WP: It’s too threatening

KC: But I’m tried of carrying around this weight

Round 3

TH: It’s too hard

EB: It’s too overwhelming

SE: It’s too much weight to lose

UE: I don’t have enough discipline

UN: Why bother?

CP: It’s too much stress to live up to others’ expectations

CB: I’m afraid if I lose it, I’ll put the weight it back on again

UA: Then I will disappoint everyone and be right back where I started

WP: Why even start?

KC: It’s seems too overwhelming

Round 4

TH: Maybe it’s possible

EB: After all it is my body and I want to feel good about my body

SE: I am open to choosing how I want to feel about my body

UE: I’m giving myself permission to not care what others think of me

UN: I’m giving myself permission to start respecting myself

CP: I’m open to loving myself and my body

CB: What if I could care more about what I think rather than what others think?

UA: What if I could value myself more?

WP: What if I could do this for me?

KC: What if I could feel safe losing weight?

Round 5

TH: What if I could try it a little every day?

EB: What if I could be consistent?

SE: What if I could have more respect for myself than caring what others think of me?

UE: I am open to feeling safe no matter what weight I am

UN: I am a good person no matter what weight I am

CP: I am choosing to value and respect myself

CB: I am choosing to have healthy expectations of myself

UA: What if it could have fun losing the extra pounds?

WP: Maybe I could look forward to all I can do, when I am slimmer

KC: Maybe I can look forward to feeling really great about myself and my health no matter what

KC: I am choosing to lose weight for my own health and my own sake

KC: I am choosing to feel safe losing weight for me

That was a quick 5 rounds. Now remember everyone is different. You may need to tap more on the negative beliefs before you start tapping in the positive. Make sure you tune in to your feelings, start trusting those feelings instead of your head (sometimes your mind will play tricks with you but your body holds the truth).

The end result for the woman losing the weight would be that she would want to feel that it isn’t so important to her what others think about her weight. Then she can cross that negative, limiting belief off her list and move on to the next or she may need to tap on it for a few days, if it is a deep ingrained belief. If she tested it, which we all need to do, she would ask herself how true is the statement:

“But if I lose the weight, others will expect me to keep it off” .

If it is at a 0 or a 1, you can be pretty sure it’s done but if it is still at a 3 or 4 more tapping is needing to be done.

Now say the affirmations again and see how true it feels for you?

You can use the above example to work with any affirmations. One of the things that I do is little affirmations so that it doesn’t feel too impossible or overwhelming a task for me. I just keep chipping away at it and adding more affirmations when I have achieved the first one and eventually I get success.

One other point I want to mention here is that as you are tapping, memories and many feelings may come up that are connected to those negative beliefs. For the woman wanting to lose the weight, it may be that family members or kids in school teased her about her weight. She may have been molested or felt physically threatened. Whenever you are tapping please be aware that sometimes deeply buried trauma may come up. I strongly suggest that you work with an experienced practitioner if there is something traumatic that does comes up for you. There is help out there for you and you shouldn’t have to be alone with it, you can get help and freedom. If very scary feelings do come up for you, just tap the scary feelings down,take deep breaths, telling yourself “everything is going to be okay,” which it will be, tapping will calm them. Look at it as an opportunity for you to heal unresolved trauma. Find a skilled, knowledgeable and compassionate professional who is trained in trauma therapy.

This was just an example of one affirmation. You can affirm anything, you can work on finances, relationships, confidence, business goals, health, golf scores, performance anxiety, you name it. Take this formula and tap away any negative or limiting beliefs you may have, using the above template.

Try using EFT with your affirmations and I wish you great success. Please email me if you have any questions at:

info@gailmae.com

You can view Gary Craig’s website at: www.emofree.com

07 Oct

My Winter’s Journey

Spring is finally here in full force, my favorite season! It has been an incredible blessing over the winter months, spending time with myself, while becoming a Destiny Coach, taking spiritual and Internal Family Systems classes. Maybe it’s my age and the time of life to reflect, maybe. But I also remember those long summer months of vacation in Australia as a kid, of having the opportunity and time to do nothing if I chose. There was a slowness, a stillness, a time to dream, a time to reflect, a time for play. I remember one of my favorite things to do was to read in the back of our car in the carport. It was the shadiest and coolest place around.  We didn’t have air-conditioning and I would read and nap, think, daydream and reflect on what I was reading. That has got to be one of my favorite things to do even now. Mostly though I don’t give myself that pleasure, that joy enough.

Something wonderful happened this winter though as I was in this apartment with beautiful views and sun bursting through the windows. I felt called to spend time here, to slow down, to go inside even more deeply and to connect with God even more deeply. Everything that was ready to heal came up and having this relationship with God, He was able to love me and heal me through some unhealed events from the past.  Being that our life is a journey and we will hopefully always be on that journey, that journey of love, acceptance, forgiveness, purpose and connection with God.  Just like nature which is quiet in winter, resting, renewing and working underneath, in the roots and in the sap as it prepares for Spring, so it is important for us too to do the same, to slow down, reflect and renew.

Many people are running away from themselves. I know I still was. Recently I was reminded of Rumi’s beautiful quote: “The wound is where the light enters”. If the wound is where the light enters wouldn’t we seek the light?  Problem is, we have to go through the wound, sometimes opening up a scab that underneath is still not completely healed. We have to reveal that which is probably very uncomfortable and sometimes very scary. We have to look at the negative judgements about ourselves that we hold which, by the way, are just not true. We have to find the place where it is safe to let them go.

That’s why I have continued to search and find these wonderful techniques which not only help you to heal past wounds but also I’ve learned how to help you feel safe to heal and unburden any limiting beliefs you may have learned that keep you from stepping into your true destiny.

I have always sought for meaning in life, the meaning of why I am here and I continue to have everyday miracles, insights and guidance from God about that. What I love about God is that nothing is random.  I have seen that I am so much more than this life, this particular journey. This journey can be very up and down and challenging but it has been so worth it. My pilgrim journey of discovering who I am in the light of God who loves me unconditionally, this journey of lifting the veils of unconsciousness to discover the amazing light within each and everyone of us.

This marvelous Winter’s Journey of Realization of healing and learning could not have been possible with out the supernatural help, love and support from above I have had. Knowing that I am not alone and, even though I had felt alone in the past, I have realized that there was always someone watching over me and guiding me. Nor would it have been possible with out the incredible earth angels I have had in colleagues, spiritual mentors and expert coaches.
It couldn’t have been possible either without you my most important clients who trusted me enough to share your incredible precious selves. I honor you always, your courage to heal and to step forward into your destiny, is my inspiration. We are all one!

With love and blessings,

 

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14 Aug

Follow Your Joy

There are many things I love to do in life and one of those at the top of my list is my work. Working with clients and helping them to heal and to reach their goals is one of my greatest joys. I am deeply grateful for all those who have helped me on my journey to be where I am in my career. I wish the same for you that you may also be doing the work you love.

Working for myself means I have to be pretty disciplined with where I put my time and energy. As much as I love my one on one sessions and workshops, the ‘business’ side can be a challenge to me. This ‘work’ never seems to end unless I put up boundaries for myself to create more balance.

I have found that when I give myself time to follow my other interests that I enjoy as well, I end up attracting more clients and wonderful opportunities come knocking at my door.

It’s all about energy and how I feel. The more we tap into our joy, our vibration is automatically lifted higher.  We are in a state of flow and good things are attracted to us. For me, it may be singing, dancing, exercising, reading and spending time with family and friends.

What is it that brings you joy, makes you feel great and is in alignment with your creativity? It may be something that you can create a career out of or use as an adjunct to your career. Remember not to judge as you let your heart rule in this exercise and let your imagination soar. Ask yourself some ‘What if” questions such as, “What if I could teach tennis (or whatever is your passion) this way I could get to play more,  help others get better at it and enjoy it more AND get paid at the same time!  Let your imagination have fun with it.

What brings you joy?

Here are some great questions to ask yourself about what brings you joy from Louise Gale http://louisegale.com/.

Write your answers down, meditate on them with an open mind and heart.  Be careful not to judge your answers just let them flow and make it fun, as if you were a kid again.

1. What activities make you feel happy and get you excited?

2. What are the feelings associated with those activities?  Remember you can have more than one activity that brings you joy.

3. Which of these activities do you lose track of time with?  When we are truly doing what we love, we forget about time. We are in the ‘zone’.

4. Would you do it for free?  If you had enough money to live on comfortably for the rest of your life, which of these activities would you choose to spend your time on?

5. What are your favorite things to talk about with others when given the chance? We get excited when we are passionate about something. If you are not sure what that might be, why not ask those around you what you get really passionate about. You might be surprised.

6. Last but not least, if you had a magic wand, and no constraints at all, what would you love to be doing every day that makes you feel great inside? Maybe you are closer than you think!

I’ve always believed that anything is possible. All you have to do is dream it, believe it and put the action steps in to achieve it. Any resistance or procrastination to achieving your goals we just tap on (do EFT, Emotional Freedom Techniques) to move through and release. You are worth achieving your goals and being happy!

 

Love,

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11 Jun

Beliefs are Passed Down Through the Generations.

Photo credit: Sebastián León Prado on Unsplash

 

Everything we experience in life is filtered through our beliefs about ourselves.

It seems simple to say, “if I could just change how I feel about myself then everything will fall into place and I will achieve my dreams.”

Easier said then done, right?. We know that you can say affirmations ad infinitum and yet you still may not be making the money you wanted, or have found that perfect relationship, job or career. You’re still procrastinating and still walking around in fear with stress and anxiety.

Remember that your subconscious is running 95% of your life. You can’t change those subconscious beliefs by working hard, saying affirmations or by getting success coaching. These things can definitely help but if they are not working, it is an indication that you still have negative beliefs and/or trapped trauma that stops you from moving forward out of fear.  If there are parts of you that feel it is not safe to reach your goals, they are going to stop you in any way they can or if you achieve your goals somehow, they may come in and sabotage you. Don’t stop saying those affirmations but you must at the same time heal the trauma and let go of those accompanying limiting beliefs.

Where do these beliefs come from?

We create beliefs about ourselves from experiences which we have had during our lives and the lies we believed about life and ourselves when a traumatic event occurred.  In order to survive (and we are all about survival), our subconscious creates a belief to keep us safe. The belief is usually ‘not true’ but it remains in our subconscious and running the rest of our life. If we do not transform it, it will continue to run our lives, causing us all kinds of problems.

We also absorb beliefs that our parents and ancestors have unwittingly passed on. A child’s brain, between the ages of 0 to 3 years of age, functions at the Delta frequency. Between the ages of 4-7, the child’s brain functions predominantly at the Theta frequency.
 This means that from childbirth (or even in the womb) to the age of 7, your brain registered things at an “hypnotic” level and drove them deep into your subconscious mind. Those formative years created the foundation for how you will react to the outside world for the rest of your life, unless you learn to change the programming at the subconscious level.

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As we only have Theta, Delta and Alpha brain waves up until the age of 7 years, we are in an hypnotic state. What we experience and witness from early childhood we believe to be true.  After all our parents are our gods to us when we are children, our survival is completely in their hands, why wouldn’t we believe them, we don’t know anything different and we don’t have a choice.

Much of the learning we received from our nuclear family and our ancestors get passed on automatically and we believe them to be true. These can affect our choices for the rest of our lives if we don’t take care of them at the subconscious and cellular level.
Our lives and our experiences and challenges have profound importance, they can form our identity and can affect who we become in this life. We all experience trauma of some kind and have obstacles to overcome and grow from.  They are our own particular and unique school of life and profoundly connected to our purpose.   These traumas and lessons are the basis of how we are going to ‘give back’ with the wisdom we have gained through working through our challenges.

How do we grow from these negative beliefs and traumas?

By  healing the beliefs we learned. Some of the techniques I have found to be helpful and transforming are EFT and Matrix Reimprinting,  Destiny Coaching, Internal Family Systems and the Grief Recovery Method. If the client is open I also bring in a way they feel a loving connection to the Divine. Oftentimes trauma can cause a feeling or belief that we are alone in the world, or that we are unloved, or unlovable. Having the deep understanding that there is a kind and benevolent Higher Power who loves us deeply and will never abandon us and is within us all, can be healing in and of itself.  Many people have been wounded by religion and are angry at God and so we can even address these issues or put them on the back burner and work in a very clinical way.  Everyone’s needs are different and respected.  I am astounded sometimes with the profound learning I have received about my life.  Each memory I went back to that was traumatic, I am now able to see differently with gratitude and forgiveness. I see how if I didn’t have these experiences then I wouldn’t be doing what I am doing now.  I realize the value of these experiences in my life’s journey.

“ Don’t turn away, keep your gaze on the bandaged places. That is where the light enters you” ~ Rumi

Even though we may be victims as children, subconsciously we can carry that belief throughout our lives even though the abuse happened many years ago. It can run your life behind the scenes and sabotage golden opportunities and friendships. You can be free and get to choose what you want to walk away from and not because of fear.

At this momentous time in the world, we are beginning to understand the harmful effects of trauma on the body, mind and spirit but we can also experience the power of God’s love, the power of our hearts, minds and souls to heal.  We have the opportunity to break the negative belief patterns that have been passed down through our ancestors with the techniques I have learned.  Our parents were the wounded children of their parents and so on. This is miraculous and transforming. This is going to help change the world for the better one heart, one soul at a time.

If you are interested in breaking the ancestral wounding and negative beliefs and trauma that has been passed on through to your generation and perhaps to your children and getting free, please email me at info@gailmae.com for more information.

Love from,

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19 Mar

Integrity

While praying and meditating this morning, I asked God what He wanted to teach me today and the word Integrity came to my mind.

The Oxford English Dictionary Definition of Integrity is:

The quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness. The state of being whole, entire, or undiminished.

I felt that God was telling me to not only to be more in integrity to others but to be more in integrity to myself. So often over the years I have taken advice from others, believed them, forged ahead and things backfired for me and I ended up out of integrity. I didn’t trust my own gut, my own intuition, I often followed someone else’s advice as I believed they knew better than me. Perhaps if I had counseled myself, gone within to weigh whether this advice was something I felt was the right way to go for me? Perhaps I would have served myself better.

This doesn’t mean that we can’t ask someone else’s advice who may have expertise in the field you are asking about but why not turn inside first, to reflect and connect to God. After all we are all tapped into the source of all creation, we just have to listen and to trust our intuition. If you are not used to that, find ways to increase your skill in it. It takes practice. You have your own unique path in life and this is why it is important to trust and go within to find out what or where you are supposed to be and where you can best serve.

Choose trustworthy people who fully support you. Those who support you in finding out, for yourself, how to come to the choice, the decision that is for your highest good. Go to those who encourage and help you to see who you really are, who value your opinion and ask questions that help you to find what is true for you. When you come from your heart in a loving way it will be easier to stay in integrity. You will know it’s right in your gut.

Make sure you are not doing something out of fear.

It’s interesting to me how when I set an Intention as I did with Integrity, all the times I was not in integrity came up to the light to be healed. It can be very uncomfortable.  All those experiences that my subconscious had hidden away, ignored, pushed down, gone unconscious about, simply because I couldn’t handle it on my own, didn’t know how to handle it, or felt too guilty about. Well, it came up to the light to be healed, it was time. Whether that was to forgive myself, forgive others or to ask for forgiveness, it was time.

I think of this healing work like going to exercise class. If I don’t exercise, my body breaks down and I am not as strong, as healthy, or flexible. I feel the same way about my mind, my emotions and my spirit. I want to keep them healthy, flexible, open and always growing.

If you can relate to any of this, it is time to heal. Not healing may be blocking you from sharing your gifts in the world, having great relationships and of you feeling at peace in your soul. It will also get in the way of you manifesting all that you dream as you will feel unworthy until it is cleared and you are again in integrity.

We are moving towards being whole, entire and undiminished!

So for sure, up came all that stuff from the past where I was not in integrity, where I may have unwittingly hurt people or was not in integrity with myself. I had to clean it all up. It was an opportunity, a blessing even though it doesn’t always feel that way. I know it was worth it as it will be for you!

 

Love and Blessings Always,

 

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11 Mar

Reflection and the Seasons

I am ready for Spring weather and it looks like it may be here! Yay!!! The winter was an incredible blessing for me, since I didn’t have to commute to the office after January. I had more time to spend at home between clients reflecting on many issues and being with myself. I was reminded of those long summer months of vacation in Australia growing up, of having the opportunity and time to do nothing if I chose. There was a slowness, a stillness, a time to dream, a time to reflect, a time for play. I remember one of my favorite things to do was to read in the back of our car in the carport. It was the shadiest place around and I would read and nap, think, daydream. That has got to be one of my favorite things to do even now. Mostly though I don’t give myself that pleasure, that joy enough. I was always to busy and would feel guilty if I spent time either not doing anything or playing.

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Something wonderful happened this winter as I was in this apartment with beautiful views and sun bursting through the windows. I felt called to spend time here, to slow down, to go inside even more deeply and to heal even more deeply. Everything that was ready to heal came up to the light. Being that our life is a journey and we will always be on that journey of finding deeper self love and acceptance. Just like nature which is quiet in winter, resting, renewing and working underneath, preparing for Spring, it was important for me too, to do the same, to slow down, reflect and renew.

Most people are running away from themselves. I know I still was. I am reminded of Rumi’s quote: “The wound is where the light enters”. If the wound is where the light enters wouldn’t we seek the light? Problem is, we have to go through the wound, sometimes opening up a scab that underneath is still not completely healed. We have to reveal that which is uncomfortable and sometimes scary. We have to look at the negative judgements about ourselves that we hold which, by the way, are just not true.  We have to find the place where it is safe to transform them. We can safely heal with gentle techniques such as EFT (Emotional Healing Techniques), Matrix Reimprinting, Grief Recovery Method and Internal Family Systems. When you do heal, what is revealed is more and more of your connection to Divine Love and the discovery that you are enough, lovable and that your dreams are possible!

I have always sought the truth and this winter wonderful things have opened up to me of such beauty and bliss, that it is hard to describe. I continue to have everyday miracles, insights and guidance from above. We are all so much more than this life, this particular journey. I’m not saying it’s always easy, it can be very up and down on this journey but it is so worth it. Our pilgrim journey of discovering who we are, this journey of lifting the veils  to discover the amazing light within each and everyone of us.

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I think of clearing our energy, of getting our energy system unstuck, of changing any negative thoughts as something to be done continuously. We go to the gym and exercise classes to keep our bodies fit and flexible. We eat healthy food and pray and meditate. We brush our  teeth and floss. I also take care of my emotional system and get rid of any blocks and fears that crop up and get in the way of me achieving my goals.

I believe it is of prime importance to take care your emotions and spirit which affects every part of your body and create your life at every moment of every day.

Love and blessings always,

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27 Jan

Miracles

 

The snow started falling in the morning and as it landed on my balcony I happened to look out and see all these little stars on the concrete and the furniture.  I can’t believe I’d never noticed snowflakes like this before.  I guess living in the city and not having grown up with snow, I mostly saw snow as cold, (I don’t like cold) and a nuisance.  It turns to a brown slushy mess and can be an inconvenience.

But here was this incredible miracle as I gazed out on the balcony and saw all these unique little stars.  They were each very beautiful and completely different.  I felt like a kid again in awe and wonder. The miracle of snow that each snowflake is unique, not one the same as another, how amazing is that?   It’s just like us.  There are billions of people in the world and not one is the same, we are all unique and beautiful and a miracle just like the snowflakes.

I saw another miracle as I was riding the bus to my exercise class.  It was lightly snowing and as we stopped to pick up some passengers I saw a few birds on a tree, flying from branch to branch and I couldn’t tell if they were enjoying the snow or not but I marveled that here they were with only some feathers keeping them warm in this 20 degree weather.

One of the birds was a robin, the harbinger of Spring.  I always get excited when I see a robin towards the end of winter as it gives me hope that Spring is coming soon.  Here was this robin in the middle of winter, did he or she have her timing off?  I understood it as God showing me that there is always hope and even though our ‘winters’ in life may be difficult and may never seem to end, there is always hope that Spring will eventually come.  Each season in life has it’s value and it’s importance.  Life goes on, in it’s beautiful and inimitable way.

My prayer for you is that you always know deep in your heart that you, like the snowflakes, are a miracle, exquisitely beautiful and magnificent in your uniqueness.  I hope that you would know that if you are going through struggles, hardships and difficulties, that Spring will be here soon.  Look for the miracles in your life, they are there, you just have to be open to seeing them. I was never able to see the miracle of the snowflake because I was looking at it the wrong way, I could only see all the negatives of snow and I wasn’t open to the miracle.

I remember how when things were very hard for my family  just a few years back. I thought of Job a lot at that time and when the challenges just never seemed to end, the thought of Job and his patience did help me to persevere and not give up. I experienced many miracles among the struggles.  I knew that there was a reason for these hardships and the learning was profound, I can attest to that.  Those difficult times ended and Spring came in all its glory.

Recently a friend of one of my son’s killed himself, it was absolutely heartbreaking.  It seemed he had never been happy. How sad, that this young person, never knew how precious he was, how much he was loved by God.  There is always an answer, there is always hope, there is always the promise of Spring and there are always miracles.  We just have to be open to seeing them, have patience to await them and faith that God will never abandon us.

Remember to love others no matter what. Let them know they are precious to you. Let them know that you care, let them know that their presence in your life is important, that they are important and lovable.  Spend time with those who are lonely, call or write to those who are apart from you.

Take extraordinary care of yourself, so that you can take extraordinary care of others.

You are a miracle!

Peace, blessings and love to you always,

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19 Jan

How to be Gentle and Compassionate with Yourself

“Through your unique journey in life, you can make a difference
Through your trials, challenges and joys you have insights to help others
Through your embracing the light, you can bring peace to the world”.

 

1. Have Gentleness, Compassion and Forgiveness

One of the greatest things we can do for ourselves is to have love, compassion and forgiveness for ourselves. Not only will you be more at peace, and have more fun and joy in your life, but those wonderful feelings will reflect out to others. When we have compassion and understanding for our own faults and weaknesses, it allows us the opportunity to choose if we want to keep recreating these negative experiences in our life, or of choosing something more positive, effective and life-affirming. It’s not that we just accept our weaknesses as much as it is a surrendering them to a God, a loving Father, asking for help and guidance to improve, knowing that we are not alone and don’t have to go it alone. It’s also not that we don’t take action to do better. We do but we do it with gentleness, compassion and understanding at all times, especially when we fall.  (I just want to mention here that many people do not even like using the word “God” as they have had negative experiences of a religious nature.  People who have had experiences in some religious institutions or at home that turned them off, they experienced rejection and deep hurt. I understand that and I have experienced the same but as I have journeyed through life, studied, prayed, meditated, contemplated, read and experienced. I know that oftentimes little of our true loving God is in religion – what is left is often fear, judgement and rejection. I do believe and have experienced that our true God is our most loving, benevolent and beneficent Papa just waiting to bless us with abundant love and provision. So try to imagine the most loving, kind, wise, supportive, forgiving Dad and multiply that a thousandfold. Then maybe we are getting somewhat close to what God is truly like.)

2. Don’t Beat Yourself Up

When we beat ourselves up, for whatever it is we may be angry at ourselves for, it causes resistance in us and there is no way we can choose anything positive. We are coming from ‘survival at all costs’.  We become ‘stuck’.  Sometimes our challenges will bring us to our knees as we realize that we need Divine help. When we open ourselves to this Divine help, we are on the path of healing and transformation. We have support. This help that may come in the form of a person, a book or even a song so be open to miracles occuring.

3. Remember You Are Valuable

Never forget that you are valuable beyond measure. Your life and your experiences have tremendous value for your growth in consciousness and for those around you. Try to look at everything, (even the experiences which you feel are humiliating or shameful) with compassion and understanding.  If you messed up, you were no doubt coming from fear and survival. These events can be an opportunity for learning true humility and, believe it or not, this can be a gift. These life lessons can help us to have compassion for others who may also be struggling in the same way.  Believe me, most people have skeletons in their closets!  It’s all okay.  God is not judging you, so be extremely gentle with yourself and follow through with integrity.  Take extra-ordinary care of yourself.  Forgiveness is key to making changes and if you have to ask for forgiveness from others, so be it.  Whatever brings peace in your hearts.

4. Bring Everything to the Light

Bring everything to the light of God.
Watch your thoughts and remember we have 50,000 to 70,000 thoughts a day. Notice how often they are negative. Notice how often you are hard and punishing on yourself. Notice if you are comparing yourself to others and choose something else, something much more positive.  Imagine you were talking to a little child.  Would you be so harsh?  I think you would try to be understanding and gentle. Choose to treat yourself in the same way.  We are still children in many ways and we are always on a journey of learning about life.  Your life has unique value that only you can experience and share. You have unique gifts and talents filtered through your life’s experiences. Never devalue the importance of your life and of YOU.

Love always,

8UNmWfOVviBscZ88_kXTsbI0PmFCiCOBp74lycLRS0c

01 Jan

Procrastination

 

Some of my clients asked me to give them a Tapping Script that may help them on a daily basis with their procrastination. So I have written one here below. I would also like to talk a little bit about procrastination and to remind you that you are not bad or wrong for procrastinating. Go easy on yourself, in fact, it is of PRIME importance NOT to beat yourself up for procrastinating, that is only going to make things worse.

There is always a reason why we procrastinate and the important thing is to find out why and to tap into that issue.

  1. Our body/mind/spirit system is trying to keep us ‘safe’.  Our brain is thinking subconsciously, if we get this achieved the long-term payoff is too scary, I may be killed, be successful, I may fail, lose my job, be seen, stand out, get more clients and then be too busy, be judged, criticized, yelled at, or any number of other fears that keep us stuck. 
  2. Procrastination can be a way of rebelling against an authority figure such as a teacher, boss, parent or anyone in a leadership position over you. You procrastinate as you feel this is the only way you can feel any control or autonomy over your life. Perhaps they let you down, took advantage of you and hurt you.
  3. You may be procrastinating because you have resentment and anger over the way they have treated you. There is a part of you that is resisting doing the task or project to ‘get back at them.’ Problem is it may be hurting you in the long run.

All these issues can affect you and your ability to get important things completed and to take care of you. Part of our procrastination might mean we will be ‘busy’ filling up our time with unimportant tasks. Ask yourself:

  • is this helping me to get my important tasks done first?
  • Am I spending too much time on Facebook, watching TV, shopping or doing other activities that are not helping me to move forward in getting my goals and projects done on time?
  • How can I take care of me here? How do I handle this situation while getting my needs met?

Tapping can help you calm the fear, fight, freeze response in the body, the anger and resentment over the hurts and thereby help you to think more calmly and with clarity. Instead of numbing out, you are able to choose how you want to respond in any given situation.

Following is a script for you on feeling ‘safe’ to get your goals achieved. Remember that you can change the words to fit yourself. Your words are the best words for you!  Tapping scripts are hard to do because each and everyone one of us is unique and different, so creating a one size fits all is nearly impossible. Nevertheless, tapping is better than doing nothing, so give it a whirl and persevere. Tapping on procrastination needs persistence!

Remember also that in EFT we always tap on the negative first, that is how our minds and bodies will be able to accept the positive affirmations. We have to take care of the negative first. Check your discomfort about the issue and rate it between 1 and 10. 10 being the most discomfort and 0 being no discomfort. Only when we feel we are at a 4 level or below do we bring in the positive affirmations. 

The Wrist Point (WP) is inside the wrist, where you would take your pulse. 

Tap on each point 5 to 7 times.

Round 1:

KC (Karate Chop Point): Even though I don’t want to do…………………….., I feel sick to my stomach just thinking about it. In fact, I don’t even want to think about it, I  accept myself anyway

Even though I don’t want to do……………………….., I refuse to do……………………, I will never do……………….., it’s too hard, it’s disgusting, it’s so much easier just numbing out and being distracted, I am open to seeing this issue from a different point of view and I deeply and completely accept myself

Even though the thought of doing this task gives me a headache, makes me feel nauseous, embarrassed, guilty (or whatever it is for you). I am open to giving myself credit for dealing with this, for tapping on this issue and trying to work through this procrastination and I deeply and profoundly accept myself.

TH (Top of Head): This procrastination

EB (Eye Brow): This procrastinating

SE (Side of Eye): I’m tired of procrastinating

UE (Under Eye): I’m sick and tired of not taking care of myself

UN (Under Nose): This procrastinating

CP (Chin Point): I’m done with it

CB (Collar Bone Point): I’m sick of it

UA (Under Arm): I’m sick of not getting stuff done

WP (Wrist Point): I’m sick of wasting my own time

Round 2:

TH: This procrastination

EB: This procrastination

SE: This procrastinating

UE: I’m over it

UN: I’m done with it

CP: I’m tired of it

CB: I’ve had enough of it

UA: This procrastinating

WP: This procrastination

Round 3:

TH: It’s too difficult?

EB: Not possible

SE: It’s too scary?

UE: too dangerous

UN: This fear

CP: This fear

CB: This fear

UA: It’s way too scary

WP: Opening up a can of worms

Round 4:

TH: It’s never going to happen

EB: Too scary

SE: I’m not brave enough

UE: It’s life and death for me

UN: I just want to let this fear go

CP: I’m so tired of it

CB: I just want to let it go

UA: Maybe it’s possible, I could let some of the fear go?

WP: What if I am safer than I thought?

TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND CHECK IN WITH YOUR BODY – what is your discomfort between 1-10? If it is still over a 4 go back and repeat the above. If it is a 4 or below, go on to the next rounds.

Round 5:

TH: What if could try a little bit at a time?

EB: What if I could feel safe doing that?

SE: Maybe it’s possible

UE: What if it could actually feel good getting the work done?

UN: What if I could feel grounded and safe doing the work?

CP: I wonder if it’s possible I could feel confident getting my needs met?

CB: What if I could feel more calm and safe?

UA: What if could start slow?

WP: What if I am worthy to get my needs met?

Round 6:

TH: I’m giving myself permission to actually enjoy getting my goals met

EB: I know I’m worth it

SE: I’m choosing to honor myself here and get this important work done

UE: I’m worth it

UN: I actually enjoy getting things done in a timely manner

CP: I’m choosing to acknowledge the hard work  I’ve put in over the years

CB: I did it before and I can do it again

UA: I’m choosing to look forward to achieving my goals and taking care of myself

UC: I’m choosing to take care of me

WP: I’m choosing to take care of me and I’m worth it

TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND REPEAT ANY ROUNDS AS NECESSARY!

Just remember to listen to your body and if there is any tension then you know you need to tap more. Remember that we always tap on the negative and when the feelings (negative) go down to a 4 or below then you can bring in some positive affirmations or in this case I brought in open-ended questions which kick the brain into finding solutions for itself. If asking those questions brings out a big NO, then keep tapping on the negative some more until your body feels ready to accept the positive.

Here are some pointers that have helped me and others do those important tasks first:

  • Write a list the night before with the important tasks to be done first.
  • Do the hardest tasks first.
  • Put the list either on our computer where you can cross it off or up on your wall, where it is in your face and hard to ignore.
  • Have a timer beside you (also there are apps that you can download free online) that give you 5,10, 20 or 30 minutes to do the difficult tasks. Make the time an amount where you can feel ‘safe and comfortable putting in that time. You can start small and build up.
  • If you have more than one task, use that timer for each and keep to the time, it is really helpful.
  • Congratulate yourself for getting them done, pat yourself on the back, dance to some great music, sound the ‘Applause’ (free app) on your phone or jump up and down wildly. Do something fun. I know it sounds crazy to do that but you are actually retraining your brain into believing that doing these difficult tasks can actually be a good thing and even fun.

Something I remind myself from time to time is how am I going to feel on my deathbed if I never achieved the goals I had set for myself or achieved what I thought I was here to do in this life. I want to pass on from this life knowing that I did achieve what I set out to do or know that I did the best that I could. I would feel terrible knowing I wasted my gifts by procrastinating and reminding myself of this, keeps the fire lit under me. Even if you are young, it’s good to ponder this because you want to live a full, rich life of adventure, passion, and love, without regrets.

It does take some discipline. I know that can be a dreaded word for many but honestly, after you have achieved the task you feel so much better. It’s worth it, so if you need to do some minor gritting of teeth to just start, I say why not? This is where tapping can be SO helpful to neutralize the fears, anger, or resentment that are keeping you stuck!

Another important thing I do is I always check in with God, sometimes we push ourselves into goals that are perhaps not what we really want in our hearts. We just think we ought to. Maybe there is or was an expectation by our family, perhaps we made a vow a long time ago but now we feel as if we should be doing something else.  It is completely acceptable to let go of a goal that you discover you don’t want anymore. Just make sure to know what is true for you and you’re not just pushing back.

Remember you are valuable beyond measure and I hope you feel better from tapping with this script and you will be able to achieve those tasks and goals you set out to do. If this script doesn’t help then you may need to work one on one with someone because there are probably underlying deep-seated issues that need to be addressed and healed that are causing the procrastination. I didn’t get to write a script for the anger/resentment/rebellion and hurt issues. I think this blog would have been so long. Maybe that is for another day and you can use this template and again add your anger/resentment/rebellion and hurt phrases and words.

Don’t forget you can always reach out to me for a free consult if you have questions and need to work more deeply on your issues to get unstuck.

http://www.bookedin.net/reach-your-full-potential

 

Love to you,

8UNmWfOVviBscZ88_kXTsbI0PmFCiCOBp74lycLRS0c

 

 

16 Dec

EFT Holiday Tapping Script

 

For some people the holidays can bring up some stress. Here’s a little holiday Tapping script for you that I hope will be helpful.

Take three big deep breaths, thinking about the holidays and what feelings they bring up for you. Note what the feelings are and where they are in your body and just acknowledge them, they are simply energy and when you allow them to be without judgement they will shift and change. Then start to tap gently 5 to 7 times on each point starting on the Karate Chop Point.

Karate Chop Point (KC): Even though the holidays are coming up and there is a part of me that feels it is exciting and wonderful, there is another part of me that feels dread at the stress and relationship obligations I have to handle, I deeply and completely honor and accept my feelings about it.

KC: Even though I find it difficult to know what is expected of me, I am open to taking care of myself this year and creating boundaries.

KC: Even though I have become stressed in the past, I’m open to doing things differently this year. I’m open to honoring my limitations and to realize I can’t please all the people all of the time.

Top of the Head (TH): This stress.

Eyebrow Point (EB): This stress.

Side of the Eye (SE): I don’t want to deal with it

Under the Eye (UE): This stress about the holidays

Under the Nose (UN): This holiday stress

Chin Point (CP): This……………(put in any emotions you may be feeling such as resentment, anger, fear etc).

Collar Bone (CB): Too much stress.

Under the Arm (UA): All the responsibility

Under the Chest (UC): These feelings

Wrist Point (WP): These feelings

Keep Tapping as many rounds of the above as you need to until all those feelings have gone to a level 4 or below (on a scale of 1-10).

Then you can move on to the rest of the script below.

Top of the head (TH): Maybe it’s okay to take care of myself.

Eyebrow point (EB): Maybe it’s possible for me to get my needs met during this time of the year.

Side of the eye (SE): I’m open to not overdoing it

Under the eye (UE): I’m open to not overtaxing my finances

Under the nose (UN): It’s okay for me to enjoy myself

Chin Point (CP): I give myself permission to enjoy others for who they are without expectations.

Collar Bone (CB): I’m open to having a good time without going overboard.

Under the arm (UA): What if I can remember what the holidays are really about?

Under the Chest (UC): What if things could be different this year?

Wrist Point (WP): What if I could be calm and confident?

TH: What if I can find ways to relax?

EB:: What if I could create strong boundaries for myself?

SE: I am grateful for being me and all that I have in my life.

UE: I’m open to things rolling off my back like water off a duck’s back.

UN: I can be gentle and compassionate with myself and others.

CP: I’m open to letting go of expectations of how these holidays should be.

CB: I give myself permission to be happy and get my needs met, while taking care of others too.

UA: I give myself permission to feel relaxed and to enjoy myself.

Take a few deep breaths and check in with your body and note how you are feeling. If you are feeling good then that is great. If you still feel a little anxious then tap another round or two or add in some of your own thoughts and feelings into the script.

I hope you have a blessed holiday season!

Love,

8UNmWfOVviBscZ88_kXTsbI0PmFCiCOBp74lycLRS0c

 

 

 

07 Dec

Message From God

compassion001

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I want to encourage everyone to spend quiet, still time, every day with God.  Spend time in quiet reflection and know on a deep and profound level that we are connected to something so much greater than our limited conscious mind. Keep surrendering any fears or worries in your life and ask for all that you need from the  Source of divine love that has only our best interest and our highest good at heart.

It is important to contemplate and reflect and if you listen with an open mind and heart on a loving God, there will always be answers for you. They may not come immediately and they may come through in an unusual way.  Always be open in heart and mind.

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Here is a message I received the other day and I would like to share with you, it may have meaning for you too:

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Be curious!

Just when you think you know something, be sure there is much, much, more to learn. You are only scratching the surface.

Be confidant that there is never an end to this learning, there is never an end to becoming more loving.

Just when you think you are pretty confident you know what you are doing, you receive a new learning and you are cracked open and you begin to doubt yourself.  You think, “Do I really know anything?”

Well, you know a little, that’s true. And you are growing everyday and this is very beautiful.

Know that you have My light within you and when you open yourself and become more vulnerable to learning from Me, you will grow ever more brighter.  Your light will start to shine to more and more people. Your light will shine through the darkness and bring light to those who are struggling.

People will be attracted to you like a moth to a flame. And you have the opportunity to share this light, to lighten their burdens.

Do not be afraid!

I am with you always, I have your back. You are never alone.

My love for you goes beyond all limits. There are no boundaries for My love for you. Have confidence in that.

Be open to receiving My love, My compassion, My mercy, My joy for this beautiful work you are doing.

Be open to love, to being loved and to loving others.

You are precious and I love you!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With love and blessings,

8UNmWfOVviBscZ88_kXTsbI0PmFCiCOBp74lycLRS0c

28 Oct

All You Need is Love

As I was doing my morning contemplating and praying. What came to into my mind was the word ‘protection’.   As life was sending me one hard knock after another as it sometimes does. I was taking it hard and personally and beating myself up, figuratively that is. The person I needed protection from was myself! No wonder I wasn’t feeling my best.   My energy wasn’t in a good place. I hate to admit this because I ‘should’ know better after all, I help others to transform these feelings.   I do see others’ immense value but it is not always easy to see my own. That is our limited human mind.

I realized that I was not loving myself and I was able to immediately change and give myself and my younger inner self, some compassion and love.   The Beatles song is right, “All you need is love”.  All we need is to love ourselves first and when we love ourselves first and foremost, we automatically love others. It is like a fragrance that exudes out to others. Love is oxygen for the heart and soul.   In essence we are loving the little child within us. Some people were not shown love and acceptance  when they were little and so they forget and slip back into the old pattern of how they were treated when they were young. It is very hard for those with abusive childhoods to even know what it is like to feel loved or lovable. They don’t feel worthy of love and so it is hard for them to give it to themselves, to others and also to receive it.

Turn to God and ask Him to show you how much you are loved. He is faithful and will answer your prayers. He showed His undying love for each and everyone of us when He sent His beloved son Jesus to die on the cross for us. You are that valuable to Him and to Jesus!

We must always know that we are valuable not only because we are made in the image and likeness of God, who knit us in our mother’s wombs. God is a loving Father, who cherishes us and made each of us with a unique divine purpose.  In God we are never orphans. We are lovable (in spite of our faults), simply because we are God’s children.  Try to not judge others too harshly, including yourself, take care of your needs first and then others after.  After all the Bible says to “Love your neighbor as yourself.” It is very hard to love anyone if you don’t know how to love yourself first. Learn what it feels like to feel good in your body, relaxed and at ease and ask God to help you to find peace and love within you.  Love the little child within you if he/she didn’t get it when young. You can now be the loving parent.  When you are feeling down, tense, angry etc, it is because you are becoming the hard judgmental adult within yourself.   Choose instead love, acceptance, gentleness, forgiveness and compassion. Everyone deserves it!   Run to get the healing you need and when you get the right healing you will know, you will start to relax and to feel at peace in your body and in your heart and soul. You are worth it!

Much Love Always,

8UNmWfOVviBscZ88_kXTsbI0PmFCiCOBp74lycLRS0c

24 Sep

The Divine Spark Within

We each have the Divine Spark within us.

We can most definitely learn from others of course but at some point, we have to slow the influx of information coming in and turn our attention within, nurturing our connection to our higher power and to seek truth from this place.   We have the capacity to do many things but we have to ask ourselves some questions before we leap into another project. It might be wise to ask ourselves:

  • If I do this course, read this book, check my emails, go on Facebook, go out to another gathering, etc, is it leading me in the direction that I want, is it filling me up or is it leading me away from my goals and/or is it simply procrastination?
  • Is this aligned with my higher purpose?
  • Will it create peace in my life?

I believe that each and everyone has a purpose here. I don’t know what yours is but what I do know is that when we are living our purpose we are happy. It may not be always easy but it is definitely fulfilling and living your purpose, will help others. They will see your ability to reach your goals, to be emotionally free and that you are achieving your dreams.   To do this we must turn within to God who is in each and every one. As we go deep inside through contemplation, meditation, and prayer, we start to see who we really are, we become connected to the Source which is love beyond all understanding. We gain insights and our wisdom and intuition increases. We learn to trust, accepting that we are loved completely, in spite of our faults.

We are valuable and precious, we are never alone, always loved, always cherished. Our only problem may be that we are not aware or have forgotten who we really are in God’s eyes and are not allowing ourselves to accept the love waiting to pour into us.  Try to be open to allowing God in and surrender your hearts. Take a leap of faith and say “I am open to receiving your love, I am open to receiving your abundance, I am open to receiving miracles.” Say this every day and surrender your fear, surrender your worries, surrender your cynicism to God and say “What if this were possible?” Don’t forget to say thank you for all that you do have. Gratitude creates emotional, physical and financial abundance. You are worth it!

Much love always,

8UNmWfOVviBscZ88_kXTsbI0PmFCiCOBp74lycLRS0c

 

 

07 Jun

The Power of Blessings

I was sitting on the couch the other day having a cup of tea and sending love beams to our cats, who were sitting on the floor watching me intently. It is easy for me to love our cats and send them love beams. They don’t rub up against my ego in any way, just my leg (LOL!) and they don’t talk back. I remember lovingly stroking our pet rat Nibbles to sleep under my chin years ago and my husband patting our pet parakeet to sleep under his sweatshirt. Love is powerful. Studies done at The Institute of HeartMath tell us that the human heart is 5,000 times more powerful magnetically than the brain. Our hearts are the strongest bio-electrical and magnetic field generators in our body.

Last month I mentioned the power of blessings from Pierre Pradervand and I have been experimenting with sending blessings to people. I find it a little different energy than ‘praying for someone’. Just like with my cats I send people ‘love beams’. I know my animals feel the love right away, I can see it in their eyes and I feel it back in my heart, this love energy. The great thing I have noticed about sending blessings to people is that it releases me from any negative energy I might be harboring towards them. I feel a release of feel good neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine. I find myself more compassionate, patient and understanding of that person or situation. I would be curious to see if we were hooked up to sensors while sending blessings whether there would be a spike in our neurotransmitter activity. My guess would be a ‘yes’. The reality here is that I am healed and I really don’t know if the person or situation that I am sending the blessing to is healed or affected, but i do know that I feel better.

I send blessings to my loved ones, my clients, to those I know are suffering or sick and to those I might be angry or annoyed with. When I do the latter, a miracle occurs and I am released of any residual negative feelings. I find that life is too short to hold grudges or any negative energy. I’d rather be attracting positive energy and events into my life. In this way we are activating The Law of Attraction in a very positive way and love is then attracted to us. I even send blessings to organizations I don’t agree with, instead of bemoaning the awful things they are doing and that I don’t have any control over. They can certainly use those blessings. Who knows the power that thousands of us sending blessings will have. Sometimes I see different colors when I send the blessings and I wish I could tell you why that is but I don’t know. Perhaps yours will also have colors or none at all. Let me know if you do, I am curious! Sending blessings is also like a good cleanse of the body.

Sending blessings of love constantly removes the negative from our energy system. If we have any negativity, it is because we learned it along the path of life. It is our primitive brain looking for the ways that bad things can happen to us and in its somewhat misguided programming, it is merely attempting to keep us safe. The best medicine is to send our negative feelings and beliefs blessings too. This way we are transformed with love and that primitive part of our brain can feel safe. Whatever you do, don’t beat yourself up if you are feeling negative, it just creates more negativity. When we slip up, which we are bound to do, just forgive yourself and send yourself a blessing. We all deserve as many blessings as we can get. When I pray for someone, I have to petition God to help, when I am sending blessings, I am feeling that God is already in me, a part of me. We are all one, and the person I am blessing is part of me and part of God also. In that instant I think it and feel it, it is done. We all have that power within us.

Kids sense when they can trust an adult, they ‘get’ our energy right away, same as animals. We do as adults too but over the years we have built up so many layers of protection it is oftentimes hard to accept and trust. We are wary and sometimes rightly so of some people. Many of us don’t trust ourselves or love ourselves unconditionally. I wonder what might happen if you started on a daily course of blessings?

We can all make a difference in the world by blessing others. We will be raising the energetic vibrations of all those around us and therefore the world. Never underestimate the power of love and the difference one person can make. Here is a link to the Lilou Mace interview with Pierre Pradervand talking about how the “Gentle Art of Blessings” came about for him.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y9CniM_9IDw2

Sending you all many, many blessings from my heart to yours  ❤

 

8UNmWfOVviBscZ88_kXTsbI0PmFCiCOBp74lycLRS0c

17 Apr

Beloved

As I was doing my morning meditation and prayer, surrendering my life and asking God  to please inspire me and guide me as to the best way to go forward in my business, the best way to serve my clients and the best way I can be a parent and wife. The word ‘beloved’ came up, and in so many contexts this is such a beautiful word. Beloved because I am beloved by God and for most of my life I believed I was forgotten, not loved and very unlovable.

Beloved because we are all beloved by God even at the most difficult times of our lives. Beloved when we are  suffering and oftentimes not able to see the love that is around us. Beloved when we are rejecting ourselves.  Beloved because we are loved even at our worst. We have been forgiven. When Jesus died on the cross, He paid the price for us. There is nothing that we have ever done that we can not be forgiven for when we repent. There is no right no wrong, no black or white, only love. Know that if you struggle with accepting love and seeing how beloved by God you are, it is because you at some point in your life made the assumption, got the belief that you were not lovable and not deserving of love. So you continue to run that subconscious belief, because it is so uncomfortable for you to admit this.  You stuff it down, push it aside, pretend it’s not there and perhaps self medicate with cigarettes, food, alcohol, drugs and procrastination. You suffer aches and pains and serious illnesses, anything but to see and admit this awful belief. Well I want you to know that those beliefs are a lie. Not to have you punish yourselves yet again but to know that you can be free, you can know love from the deepest part of your being.

All you have to do is surrender your suffering, surrender your grief, surrender you fears to God and ask for help. On the other side of suffering is joy and peace. We are all ‘strands in this web of life’ (Chief Seattle’s quote). We are energetically connected not separate even though we have to go through our own journey, our own lessons and experience our own suffering and our great joys. No one is separate from some trauma and suffering. Some have more than others that’s all. We can come home to the real self, the real self that is a part of God, the unconditional love of the Divine Creator. You are not alone and there is always, always help along the way. For me, I have been working on myself since my late teens. My help came in many forms and the most profound for me is Matrix Reimprinting. I had assumed beliefs about myself from my upbringing, from years of sexual abuse and such. I believed I was black inside, rotten, disgusting. I was ashamed and I had to hide this part of myself.

Wow, it’s hard to believe that a little girl could believe such things about herself deep down but that is what can happen and happens around us to many people all the time. No wonder people as they grow up sabotage their success, have relationships where their partners treat them badly and are not appreciated at work. Sad to say we attract what we believe in our deepest hearts. Matrix Reimprinting helped me to go back and see the reality of what happened to me, that it was not about me but more about the people who did things to me.  I was able to release  the trauma aspects of events and my younger self could heal and find forgiveness.

I had a choice to forgive and to see the reality of the situation and to see the real me. The real me which is and was always worthy of unconditional love and ‘beloved’ by God. And so it is true for you too. There is no blame for anyone. I see now my abusers as my greatest teachers, I see that the suffering I went through was an opportunity for me to choose unconditional love and forgiveness at every point. To choose the love of God.  I have to choose forgiveness every day for myself when I screw up, when I am impatient and with my many other faults. I choose to forgive others when they screw up and hurt me unwittingly. To me it is the only answer to true freedom.

I’m on my journey and I welcome you on yours. Know that you are worthy and deserving! Do you have the courage to step into your greatness, your magnificence! The way God sees you?  I see the potential in all my clients even though they may not see it in themselves. It takes persistence, a never give up attitude and a willingness to surrender and trust in a God of total unconditional love and forgiveness.

 

You are and always were ‘beloved’,

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25 Feb

Beliefs and What I learned from the Jamaicans

Last week I was on vacation in Jamaica, It’s been quite a while since I went on vacation so this was a special treat for me. The warmth, sun, white sand and beautiful turquoise water were something I had dreamed about for a long time. I came home feeling so impressed with the people. Everything about our stay went so smoothly, from the cheerful and polite airline staff to our hotel staff and the crew who ran the special trips we went on. They all worked hard with such a cheerful attitude, we always managed to get everywhere we needed to on time with no stress. NO problem, Yeah Mon!! gail-mae-dolphins While I was there I was reading the book “The Happiness Advantage” by Shawn Achor, a wonderful book chronicling his work with companies and how people who are happier are more successful and do better in life at all levels. His work parallels what I do to re-imprint people’s negative opinion about themselves into positive opinions and beliefs. Sometimes it takes time to change those beliefs but it can be done with consistency and perseverance. I believe all things are possible and why not? We created our lives to this point by our beliefs, why not change the beliefs and change your life if you choose? People who ‘believe’ they are smart and capable do better on tests than those who doubt themselves, even though their intelligence levels may be the same. Just because you may have been a certain way for 20, 30, or even 60 years. The brilliant thing is, is that it doesn’t matter, we CAN change, it’s been proven.

If possible I do suggest you read the book, secondly I suggest you visit Jamaica to see that it is possible to ‘be happy’, it’s a choice we make everyday. I know the Jamaicans are not making much money, their economy is not strong and they pay top dollar for many of their services. They are trying very hard to turn that around. In the meantime they have chosen to be cheerful, polite, helpful and gracious. I got a lot of hugs there, which I can appreciate any time!  Most of us have some trauma and healing and transforming that trauma is my job!

We can also do other simple things as well to increase our levels of happiness. Here’s a few and remember that everyone is different and what floats your boat may not be the same for others. Always check in with your body to what feels good.  You want your brain to create more serotonin and dopamine, the feel good chemicals.

Studies have been done which prove that even thinking about something fun or pleasurable you are planning to do raises the feel good brain chemicals. I can attest to that, just thinking about my Jamaican holiday made me happy long before I was there. You don’t even have to spend a lot of money. It can be as simple as planning a movie date with friends. Some people have a belief that they are meant to suffer, or to be unhappy but the key word here is ‘belief’.  What you believe you will create. Well, I believe that we can be happy and my work is about helping you to see who you really are, lovable and deserving of happiness. So on my return to NYC from Jamaica, I promised myself to choose every day to be more relaxed, more chill, and to be more grateful. I think we owe it not only to ourselves but to each other. I am planning on expecting even more miracles in my life. How about you?

All my best wishes for abundant love, joy and miracles!

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