How to be Gentle and Compassionate with Yourself

“Through your unique journey in life, you can make a difference
Through your trials, challenges, and joys you have insights to help others.”

  1. Love, Compassion, and Forgiveness

One of the greatest things we can do for ourselves is to have love, compassion, and forgiveness for ourselves. Not only will you be more at peace, and have more fun and joy in your life, but those wonderful feelings will reflect out to others. When we have compassion and understanding for our own faults and weaknesses, it allows us the opportunity to choose if we want to keep recreating these negative experiences in our life, or of choosing something more positive, effective and life-affirming.

It’s not that we just accept our weaknesses

as much as it is a surrendering them to God, a loving Father, asking for help and guidance to improve, knowing that we are not alone and don’t have to go it alone. It’s also not that we don’t take action to do better. We do but we do it with gentleness and patience, especially when we fall.  (I just want to mention here that many people do not even like using the word “God” as they have had negative experiences in religious institutions or at home. They experienced rejection and deep hurt. I understand that and I have experienced some of the same but as I have journeyed through life, studied, searched, prayed, meditated, contemplated, read and experienced. I know that sometimes little of our true loving God is in religion – what is left is often fear, judgment, and rejection. I found that our true God is a loving, benevolent and beneficent Papa just waiting to have a close, loving relationship and wants us to be our best selves. Maybe it’s possible to try to imagine the most loving, kind, wise, supportive, forgiving Dad and multiply that a thousandfold. Then maybe we are getting somewhat close to what God is truly like.)

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2. Don’t beat yourself up

When we beat ourselves up, for whatever it is we may be angry at ourselves for, it causes resistance in us and there is no way we can choose anything positive. We are coming from ‘survival at all costs’.  We become stuck.  Sometimes our challenges will bring us to our knees as we realize that we need Divine help. When we open ourselves to this Divine help, we are on the path of healing and transformation. We have support. This help may come in the form of a person, a book or even a song so be open to miracles occurring.

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3. You are valuable beyond measure

Never forget that you are valuable beyond measure. Your life and your experiences have tremendous value for your growth in consciousness and for those around you. Try to look at everything, (even the experiences which you feel are humiliating or shameful) with compassion and understanding.  If you messed up, you were no doubt coming from fear and survival. These events can be an opportunity for learning true humility and, believe it or not, this can be a gift. These life lessons can help us to have compassion and breakthrough for others who may also be struggling in the same way.  Believe me, most people have skeletons in their closets!  It’s all okay.  God is not judging you, so be extremely gentle with yourself and follow through with integrity.  Take extra-ordinary care of yourself.  Forgiveness is key to making changes and if you have to ask for forgiveness from others, so be it.  Whatever brings peace in your hearts.

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4. Bring everything to the Light

Bring everything to the light of God.
Watch your thoughts and remember we have 50,000 to 70,000 thoughts a day. Notice how often they are negative. Notice how often you are hard and punishing yourself. Notice if you are comparing yourself to others and choose something else, something much more positive.  Imagine you were talking to a little child.  Would you be so harsh?  I think you would try to be understanding and gentle. Choose to treat yourself in the same way.  We are still children in many ways and we are always on a journey of learning about life.  Your life has unique value that only you can experience and share. You have unique gifts and talents filtered through your life’s experiences. Never devalue the importance of your life and of YOU.

Love always,

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